A Rose Among Ashes
by x.MyrtenasterRose.x
Summary: [TW: Depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts/actions] After making an attempt on her life three years ago, Ruby truly has turned her life around, and now works to help those who find themselves in situations similar to her. One of the best hotline operators in Vale, there's never been a case Ruby can't help. Until one call changes everything. [mAU. Fallen Petals]
1. Chapter 1 - Ruby

.:A Rose Among Ashes:.

* * *

 **Chapter 1 – Ruby**

 _She doesn't hear her sister knocking on her door and telling her dinner's ready. She's too absorbed in swallowing her fear and removing the lid from their uncle's Xanax prescription. She doesn't hear her sister's voice rise to a shout when she doesn't respond. She's now busy pouring out what's left of the pills into her palm. She counts ten and wonders if that's enough._

 _She's swallowing the pills with what's left of an old bottle of beer by the time her sister is frantically pounding on the door upon realizing it's locked. She waits with heightened anxiety for the pills to take effect. Her sister is charging against the door now, desperate pleas for her to open it and that she "better not be doing what I think you're doing, damn it."_

 _She doesn't hear her sister's startled cry when she finally gets inside to see her collapsed on her bedroom floor. She doesn't remember her sister's panic-stricken shouts as she dials 911, cradling her baby sister's head. She's passed out by the time the medics arrive and doesn't remember the ride to the hospital, nor the three tries it takes to get her heart beating again._

 _She wishes she could remember her sister's smiling face upon waking up a day later, but she only remembers feeling numb and cold, wishing she had died and hadn't been saved._

XxXxX

 _3 years later…_

Her alarm went off promptly at 5pm. Jolting from her sleep with a start, eighteen year-old Ruby Rose blinked open dreary eyes. Still, a smile broke upon her face after a delightful stretch and she hopped from her bed and to her closet humming a happy tune. Her footsteps and singing must have alerted her older sister that she was awake, as soon a knocking was heard upon her door.

"You awake, sis?"

"Yup!" Ruby chirped as a response, bounding over to where her sister now stood in the doorway and tackling her in a hug. "Awake and ready for another day of work!"

Her sister, Yang, couldn't help but chuckle as she ruffled Ruby's locks. "I still don't get how you find your job so enjoyable, Rubes." She shivered for dramatic effect before adding, "It just seems so…depressing."

Ruby shrugged. "It is, honestly, sometimes," she said. "But then when you hear of the difference we really make in people's lives, well… It's all okay."

"Still don't see how you do it," Yang mumbled, a hardness gathering in her eyes as she sized her sister up; a typical occurrence before the redhead was due to go in for work.

The mirth in Ruby's eyes waned only briefly before their previous light rekindled itself. "Well, don't think too hard on it, sis," she giggled before brushing past Yang. "Don't wanna be a downer while you're out with friends tonight, right?"

A small smile flickered across Yang's face as she watched Ruby head downstairs, her whisper of, "A downer, right…" trailing solemnly after her.

Some people would find it cryptic, while others would find it awe-inspiring, that only three short years after her own attempt on her life, Ruby now worked as a Suicide Hotline operator. It even surprised her, sometimes, how easily she fell into the roll, and how much she enjoyed it. It didn't just end there though; no, Ruby was one of the best they had on Vale's hotline. Maybe it had to do with her now-carefree attitude and innocence, or maybe it went deeper and was tied to her own attempt, making her able to sympathize more with callers when others couldn't. Regardless, she was good at what she did, and everyone in the office attributed Vale's decline in yearly suicides to Ruby.

Despite her enjoyment of her job, that didn't mean it still didn't take its toll on her. After all, she had been dreaming of her own attempt a lot more ever since, and Yang would say she had become "overly exuberant" lately as a cover for how tormented she really felt. Whatever the issues were, Ruby refused to let anything show, appearing as happy and cheerful as the callers knew her as.

" _Sal-u-tations_ , Ruby!" a co-worker of hers, Penny, greeted upon her walking into the office. "How was your day?"

"I spent it as I always do, Penny," Ruby replied with another smile. "Sleeping!"

"You really should try and get out more, Ruby," Penny said. "While sleep is good for your body and health, too much can become detrimental."

"Well, you try working third shift and then come tell me you don't just want to sleep when you get off," Ruby returned with a grin.

The third shift did have its downfalls; primarily the fact that a typical shift ran from 6pm to 8am, during a majority of the hours normal people would be sleeping. Therefore, Ruby had trained her body to become somewhat nocturnal; sleeping from 9am to 5pm on a good day. Still, she wouldn't trade it in for the world, and not just because these were the only hours the office would give her, but because she felt a different connection to callers in the wee hours of the morning. She felt it was more of a challenge to keep people from ending their lives when they were exhausted after a difficult day at work, or had just come home from drinking at 2 in the morning. Inhibitions were lowered in the dead of night, making suicide seem so much simpler and easier than it should. Therefore, every attempt Ruby was able to thwart made her feel that much better about herself.

Not that it was only a confidence booster. Maybe it was also because Ruby, too, had attempted her own suicide at night. She would never really know why there was such a strong connection, but she didn't really have a place to complain anyway, so she tried to come up with ideas instead.

Now seated at her desk, Ruby brought up her computer and put on her headset, making sure she was ready to begin taking calls. It was rare to go a night without any, although the Vale hotline was distributed between her and three other operators. Penny—during the day—and Pyrrha—during the night—were the ones who received each call before forwarding it to whoever they thought the person would do best with. Even with Ruby's acclaimed "fame," she remained adamant her other employees had as equal an opportunity as her.

Perhaps that was another reason she was so well liked.

When she wasn't busy with a call, Ruby spent the time drawing or writing. Her desk was cluttered with random sketches or random stanzas of poetry. Her computer, meanwhile, was kept well organized as it not only helped her navigate calls—what steps are more beneficial to take regarding the caller's situation, when to call for police intervention, etc.—but had a complete retelling of her own attempt at death. Not so she could share it with the callers, as that was a violation of ethics, apparently—Ruby disagreed there—but because she was hoping to make a book out of it. It's not every day a person so far down as Ruby was, who attempted to take their own life and only failed by a hair—or so the doctors said—survived and turned their life around in such a stunning degree and so quickly. Yang had probed her to start writing, and once she did she found she couldn't stop.

There wasn't much of it right now; just a basic outline of the direction she wanted to go and a few pages here and there. She couldn't decide if she wanted to make it a novel of a character experiencing what she did, or if she wanted to make it purely autobiographical and tell it from her point of view. She figured inspiration would strike her when it seemed most fitting, so for now she was just writing down snippets of memories when they came to her.

"Call for you, Ruby!" Pyrrha's voice rang out through Ruby's headset.

Quickly clearing her desk and bringing up the list of steps and suggestions on her computer screen, Ruby put on a smiling face—despite knowing the caller would never see it—and documented the time.

"Thank you for calling the Vale Suicide Hotline!" she greeted in her standard form, her voice as light and uplifting as ever. "My name is Ruby! May I ask whom I'm speaking to?"

The night passed by in standard fashion. There wasn't an influx of calls, but the night wasn't unusually dead either. By the time Ruby was taking her first thirty-minute break six hours into her shift, she had taken a total of sixteen calls. None had been too interesting yet—though Ruby thought that always sounded bad, considering someone's suicidal instance more or less interesting than another's. Most of the time, people just called to have someone listen to their problems without passing any judgment. Some people found it refreshing to talk to a complete stranger and confide in them. Ruby could see the appeal in that, and wished she had known more about hotlines three years ago.

A knock on the break-room door caused Ruby to look up from her cell phone to see Pyrrha standing in the doorway. Ruby smiled.

"Hey, Pyr."

"I know you're on your break, Ruby, but someone's just called in and I think you'd be really good with her." Pyrrha looked uncertain, but still gave her a small smile. "Do you mind?"

"Pft, like I'm doing anything important right now," Ruby joked. "Tumblr's pretty quiet after midnight."

Jumping up from her seat, Ruby followed Pyrrha back to their desks.

"Do you know anything about this caller?" the redhead asked.

Pyrrha shook her head, a frown overcoming her usually friendly features. "She seems like she's in a bad place," she answered. "I wouldn't say police intervention will be necessary, but… I think she needs someone like you right about now."

Ruby grinned, putting her headset back on. "Well then, I better not keep her waiting! Thanks, Pyrrha!"

Pyrrha smiled again and nodded, mumbling a quick "Good luck," before retreating to her own desk.

Pressing the blinking red light on her desk phone, Ruby inhaled.

"Thank you for calling the Vale Suicide Hotline," she greeted, making sure to make her voice sound extra chipper. "My name is Ruby! And how are you tonight?"

There was immediately a scoff on the other end of the line as a bitter, yet svelte voice quipped, "Really? I'm calling _you_ and you have the audacity to ask how I'm doing?"

Ruby merely shrugged, knowing better than to hold this caller's behavior against them in dark times such as these.

"Well, why do we always ask if someone's okay even after we just witnessed them get hurt right in front of us?" she returned. "Haven't you ever done that?"

A moment of silence passed on the other line and Ruby took comfort in the gentle—if not a bit ragged—breathing she could hear.

"Fine," the voice eventually huffed. "I'm doing abso-fuckin'-lutely great. That what you were looking for?"

Ruby couldn't stop the small chuckle that escaped her. "I wasn't looking for anything, necessarily; just an answer." Pausing briefly, she asked next, "May I ask for your name?"

"Why?" the voice huffed again. "So you can send the cops after me once I hang up to make sure I don't go off myself?"

"Not at all. I just like getting to know the people I talk to. Makes it seem more personable, you know?"

"Isn't the whole point of a hotline anonymity?"

"If that's what you want, then fine," Ruby explained. "I won't ask again."

Another moment's silence passed, but this time Ruby can hear the distance rumble of what sounds like traffic in the distance.

"Are you out?" she inquired.

"Maybe."

"Are you okay?"

"For the time being."

By then, Ruby couldn't help feeling slightly frustrated. This girl was giving her nothing to work with. Still, she tried to keep her patience in check.

"Do you want to talk about why you called tonight?" she tried next.

"My friend made me," was the grumbled response. "Said he wouldn't let me go home unless I did. Bastard's actually standing right next to me now. …Yeah, I'm talking about you, ass."

Ruby smiled. "Sounds like you have a good person looking after you."

Silence.

"I guess so."

"I know things may not seem bright and clear right now, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. That's why I'm here—why this hotline's here. If you ever need someone to talk to, someone who's a complete third party in all this, give us a call."

"You hanging up on me?"

"Not at all!" Ruby exclaimed with a small giggle. "I'll only hang up once you do. Will your friend be staying with you tonight?"

"Not if I have anything to say about it. …Yes, we're still talking about you."

Ruby smiled at the banter on the other line. Despite the façade she knew this girl was using when speaking to her friend, it was obvious she cared deeply for him. Ruby knew the act well: Keep everyone at arm's length in order to appear strong. But if Ruby had learned anything from three years ago, it was that this girl deeply appreciated her friend's being there and every action of his.

It was exactly how Ruby had felt with Yang.

Ruby spoke to the girl for a little longer, and after a while—and some apparent persuasion from the mystery guy with her—was able to learn a bit more about this caller. Apparently she was diagnosed with depression five years ago, but had been suffering from it much longer. Any medication she's been on hasn't helped so she goes off her meds repeatedly which only leads to a sudden drop in morale. Ruby attempted to testify the fact that she should always remain on her medication, even when it seemed like they weren't working. She pleaded with the girl to keep her friends close and tried to convince her that she knew how she was feeling.

"Yeah, right," the girl spat in a bitter tone. "I bet you have to say that to everyone 'cause it's in your job description."

"If that's what you need to think, then fine," Ruby replied in the same calm tone she had used the entirety of the call.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

Ruby blinked. "Doing what?"

"Saying something just to placate me?" the girl asked, and for the first time that night, Ruby heard the first bit of emotion from her. "Mercury does it all the time too, and I'm sick of it! Stop treating me like I'm defective! Stop acting like I'm a bomb to tiptoe around and that your next action, no matter how small, is going to set me off! I've been living in this shithole excuse of a life for a long time now and I haven't killed myself yet, so quit acting like I'm going to within the next five minutes!"

Stunned to silence for the first time that night, Ruby looked down at her hands in shame. "I-I'm sorry…"

"You fucking ass, this is all your fault!"

Ruby blinked again, and this time tears sprang to her eyes. "W-What?"

"Not you," the voice grounded out. "That last bit was meant for Mercury. You're just doing your job, right?"

Ruby nodded, not even caring that the girl wouldn't see it.

"Look, I've had enough of this for one night, and Mercury's finally going to let me hang up and go home," the girl said. "Apparently I've sated his concern for the night."

"Okay," Ruby mumbled, still a bit off kilter after the girl's outburst. "If you ever need to talk to someone who's not Mercury, though…"

"Yeah, call you; I know," the girl finished. "1-800-CALL-RUBY, got it."

Another giggle escaped Ruby at the girl's try at humor, and her spirits immediately began to lift. "There you go!" she exclaimed. "Humor! I'm liking that!"

"Bye, Ruby."

"Bye! Have a good night. Stay strong."

The call disconnected after that, yet Ruby took some comfort in listening to the dial tone for a moment after.

That was definitely going to be her most interesting call of the night.


	2. Chapter 2 - Cinder

**Chapter 2 – Cinder**

 _Brown eyes glimmer with mirth and childlike innocence as they take in the reflection in the mirror before them._

 _"You like, kiddo?" she asks, a knowing smirk adorning her face as she absorbs her kid sister's adoring face in the mirror._

 _The silent, yet enthusiastic bob of a head causes her to chuckle only briefly before she's being tackled in a hug. Her laugh rises in pitch as she gently pushes the body away from hers._

 _"Woah, there!" she's still laughing. "Let that stuff dry, why don't you, before rubbing it all on me, huh?"_

 _Brown flickers to pink momentarily in a sly glimmer before the adoring chocolate color resurfaces, another nod following._

 _"Want to go show mom?" she asks, making to stand and discard the small mess they had been busy making the past hour and a half._

 _Another excited nod, and her heart clenches painfully, yet pleasantly, at the excited whimper that escapes with it this time._

 _Red lips stretch into a grin._

 _"Mom!" she yells, already fit to break into another laugh. "Neo's got pink hair!"_

XxXxX

 _Ten years later…_

Cinder woke from her troubled sleep with a strangled cry. Sitting upright in her bed, the sheets went to bunch by her ankles as she pulled her knees to her chest, tears trailing down her face to drip languidly atop her arms. She caught any remaining sobs before they broke past her lips, her resolve to appear strong trumping the overwhelming desire to break down. Rubbing her eyes enough to where they hurt, so quickly and painfully devoid of tears, she stood from her bed.

Tiptoeing from her room, she crept stealthily down the hallway and to the small bathroom. Sparing the door across from it a quick glance, she was relieved to find it closed, the space at its bottom dark. Mercury was asleep.

Still being cautious to not wake her—now-overbearing—roommate, Cinder kept from shutting the bathroom door, remembering its telltale creak when it reached a certain point. Avoiding turning on the light as well, she stepped expertly to the sink, trying hard to avoid looking in the mirror before it was opened.

Though, as always, her gaze was drawn to its given reflection like a moth to flame, and Cinder felt wetness and bile creeping up her throat from the sight that greeted her.

A stunning, confident twenty-four year-old woman should be grinning back at her, but instead, the empty, pale shell of said woman stared back in her place, devoid of any emotion; any confidence. No, for the past ten years of her life, Cinder had forgotten what it felt like to be proud of one's looks; had forgotten what it felt like to have a will to live.

What once used to be fierce, blazing yellows eyes, now dulled to an almost non-existent amber, blinked tiredly back at her, and Cinder knew the tiredness present was not simply from lack of sleep.

Making to reach for the mirror's cabinet, a sudden tingling upon her right wrist had her pulling her hand back suddenly, as if burned.

 _No, go away,_ Cinder growled internally, clutching her right wrist with her left hand, both hands beginning to shake rather intensely.

The tingling only increased to a burning.

 _Go_ away! _I don't want to!_

Clenching her eyes shut and gritting her teeth in anger, Cinder tried to control her now-labored breathing, tried to control the tremors in her hands; their pleading call to help her express her pain.

 _I'm not in pain,_ she wanted to convince herself. _I just want to sleep._

Now the burning sensation had travelled to her left wrist as well, both of her limbs now feeling like they were on fire, begging to cry out.

"Please don't make me," Cinder bit out in a sob, bringing her wrists into her line of sight, thankful the shirt she had worn to bed covered the skin.

Almost against her own will, she turned to look at the shower to her right—more particularly, the razor Mercury had accidentally left sitting on a shelf. Her first step to the gleaming metal, almost drawing her in with its hypnotic glow, had her suddenly darting from the bathroom in a panic, silently relieved the better part of her had been able to pull her out of there in time.

Diving back under her covers, Cinder shut her eyes tight again, hoping to will away the lingering vision of the razor blade from her mind's eye. Her wrists flared up again, protesting against her weak will.

"I'm not weak," she whispered to herself. "I'm strong."

Except she never felt like it. No matter how much she told herself otherwise, no matter how much Mercury told her otherwise, or how many times that stupid therapist Mercury had roped her into seeing once had said, she never felt strong.

She was weak. She was a coward.

The cuts on her wrists, old and new, testified to that.

A tear sliding down her cheek, Cinder certainly didn't feel like that twenty-four year-old woman everyone said she was. She felt like a five year-old instead.

Only her demons didn't lurk in the shadows in the corners of her room or under her bed, they resided deep inside herself.

XxXxX

Another week passed, meaning another week without sleep. At least Mercury recognized she wasn't in her best spirits and wisely chose not to keep up the parade of high morale he was always willing to thrust upon her. Instead, he simply let her stay locked away in her room, buried under the covers where she somehow felt protected from herself. There was nothing in her bed that could hurt her; nothing that ached to see her blood running freely once more.

 _Unless I choose to smother myself_ , Cinder thought dryly.

Poking her head out with a groan, she eyeballed the clock on the table by her bedside. **3:27am**. Rolling her eyes, she turned over onto her stomach, stuffing her hands under her pillow and willing herself to sleep for even a second.

Of course, she knew that was a most ridiculous wish; for even when she managed a wink of sleep, nightmares tormented her to no end, making her wake up the following morning in an even more miserable state than before.

Cinder blinked her eyes open, however, when her fingers ran across something thin under her pillow. Pulling it out, she squinted in order to make out the chicken scratch that was most likely Mercury's printed on the back of a business card.

 _1-800-CALL-RUBY – It's okay to need someone, Cinder._

Grimacing, she turned the card over to indeed see the number for the Vale Suicide Hotline staring back at her. Tempting her to call. _Pleading_ her.

 _Stupid Mercury,_ she grumbled to herself as she nabbed her phone from in front of the clock. Almost automatically, her fingers began dialing the number before her, a small part of her hoping that the sprightly girl from before would be there.

"Thank you for calling the Vale Suicide Hotline! And how are you doing this evening?"

Against her better efforts, a small grin split Cinder's face at the familiar chipper voice.

"There you go again with the audacity of assumption," she heard herself retort without a second thought.

"Oh!" the girl chirped. "You!"

"Me," Cinder quipped back, not really understanding why her grin only continued to grow.

"I'm happy you called again," the girl—Ruby, Cinder reminded herself—said after a moment's silence.

"And why's that?"

"Because that means I wasn't wrong about you!" Ruby sounded simply ecstatic on the other end, and Cinder found herself wishing she could see this girl's face. A girl sounding this happy all the time, especially considering her work, had to be an interesting person.

"Wrong about me?" Cinder repeated, rolling onto her back in bed.

"Yeah!" Ruby exclaimed. "I told myself you would call here again because you wouldn't give up living. Just from our first conversation a week ago, I could tell you're strong."

Cinder's coy smile immediately vanished with Ruby's words. "You're wrong."

"About what?"

"I'm not strong," Cinder mumbled bitterly.

"Of course you are! You just need-."

" _No_ , I'm _not!_ " she cut the girl off with a cry, not even caring if she had just woken Mercury up with her expel. "You know why? 'Cause I just barely managed to get out of the bathroom in time before cutting my wrists up for God only knows how many times! Then, once I did escape, I get back to my bed and break down like a fucking five year-old!"

"But you didn't cut," Ruby said in a considerably more mellow, softer voice, and Cinder almost sneered at the smile the girl no doubt donned at this moment. "That's something."

"How can you be so fucking _positive_ about all of this?!" she screamed, barely reining in her anger before she could chuck her phone across the room. "Is none of this sinking in? I wanted to _slit my wrists_. For what is most likely _the hundredth time_. _I. Want. To. Die!_ "

There was a minute's silence in which all Cinder could hear was her heavy, irregular breaths. There was nothing from the other line. For a second, Cinder bitingly assumed the girl just hung up on her, finally fed up with her constant pessimism.

Then, softly, Cinder heard her speak.

"I did too."

That caused Cinder's anger to immediately fizzle out. "You what?"

"I wanted to die, too," Ruby repeated, speaking so softly now Cinder could barely hear her even in the dead of the night.

"You did?" was all she could ask.

There was another brief silence in which Cinder could only assume Ruby nods.

"Sometimes… Sometimes I still do, and that really scares me."

It's chilling, Cinder thought, to hear Ruby suddenly talking in such a serious manner. There was no longer a light to her voice; that chipperness had seemingly been murdered by hate and self-loathing.

"Y-Yeah?" Cinder hesitantly prodded.

"I'm…not supposed to talk about it at work," Ruby mumbled, and Cinder realized that's probably one reason Ruby's been speaking quieter. "We're…not allowed to tell callers our own stories, but…I've always hated that rule, and I think you really needed to hear that."

Cinder remained quiet as she stared at the ceiling. Ruby took this as an opportunity to continue talking—albeit at a much more morose tone.

"You're not alone in this," she stated, and Cinder could _hear_ how desperately Ruby wanted her to understand this. "Even people who seem like the happiest person in the world could be harboring a dark past, but that doesn't make them fake, or defective, or weak. It makes them human.

"Look, I'm sure you have your reasons, and I'm not going to request you open yourself up to me on a dime like this, but…talking and admitting your fears, your regrets, your dreads, it helps. If anything, don't take this lesson from a hotline worker, but from a suicide survivor."

 _That_ got Cinder to stop and think, and suddenly she could hardly form words.

"S-Survivor?"

"Yeah," Ruby whispered, a subtle crack in her voice. "Three years ago, actually."

"And you haven't wanted to since?" Cinder asked before she could think about if that question was rude or not.

"Of course I have," was Ruby's instant, and surprising response.

Yet, it comforted Cinder; more so than if Ruby had said the opposite.

"How do you fight it?" she asked next. "How do you remain strong?"

"That's the question we all want answered, isn't it?" Ruby asked instead with a slight chuckle. Cinder couldn't fight the smile that built back with the girl's mirth.

Suddenly, Cinder didn't feel so alone. Suddenly, she felt as if there was someone out there that truly _got_ her. She knew she always had Mercury; hell, even his girlfriend had become closer to her because of all this, but nothing ever felt this _real_. Neither of them could truly _understand_ her, despite how hard they tried.

But, Ruby… Ruby did. Ruby had been where Cinder is; and she had survived.

For the first time, Cinder felt a small spark of hope.

"Cinder," she breathed into the phone, the exhale releasing more than just her name, but the beginning of her demons.

"W-What?" Ruby stuttered on the other end.

Cinder didn't fight the chuckle and let it slip past her lips. "My name is Cinder."

Now she could almost see Ruby beaming from wherever she sat, however far away.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Cinder."


	3. Chapter 3 - Ruby

**Chapter 3 – Ruby**

 _"Mommy!" a shrill, five year-old cry emanates from down the hall, soon to be followed by the pitter-patter of tiny feet. "Mommy, look what I made today!"_

 _The girl launches herself at her mother, the older woman acting fast and catching the bundle draped in an overly large cape. Almost instantly, a mound of lumpy, burnt, sugary confections is thrust towards her face._

 _"Cookies!" the girl exclaims, and the woman just now notices the blotches of chocolate and flour all over her little girl. "I made them all by myself! Daddy and Yang didn't help one bit!"_

 _Laughing softly, the woman lowers her daughter to the ground, still holding the two cookies—if one could even call them that—in her hand._

 _"Eat them, mommy! They're really good! I made sure myself."_

 _Of course, that never meant much, coming from a girl who would eat an entire whale if prompted and then go on about it being such a delicacy._

 _Still, the woman plops one cookie into her mouth and begins to chew, and is pleasantly surprised when she doesn't have to mask her…intrigued…expression too much. Despite looking like a pathetic disaster, the sweets had turned out decent._

 _Well, at least as decent as a hyperactive five year-old could manage on her own. How the house hadn't burned to the ground, she would never know._

 _"They're delicious, sweetie," she croons with a smile, ruffling the red-tinged locks before her, immediately causing a cloud of flour to disperse._

 _"Really?!" the little girl cries before jumping up with an elated squeal. "'Cause I made five whole batches!"_

 _Stumbling out of her boots, the woman can only roll her eyes before traversing after her daughter._

XxXxX

"So, what'cha want to do on your day off, Rubes?" Yang asked as she and Ruby sat down for breakfast a few days later. "You know Blake is always down to hang with us, and I'm sure we can convince Weiss too."

Ruby shrugged, busy dousing her pancakes in syrup. "I dunno. We could all go see a movie, I guess."

Yang immediately picked up on her sister's change in demeanor, yet chose to let it slide for the time being. She knew Ruby would never be the same girl from before…that night, but lately she had seemed to reach a lull she couldn't pull herself out of. Yang, of course, instantly traced her change in behavior to her job, having never been fond of it in the first place.

"Well, what's out you want to see?" she prodded instead. "You pick."

Ruby gave a half-hearted smile in turn as she glanced at her sister before focusing back on her breakfast. "I'll think of something."

Two hours later, Ruby and Yang found themselves standing outside the downtown theater, waiting for the monochrome members of their group to arrive. Glancing to her left, Yang noticed the still-lackluster look in Ruby's eyes and couldn't hold back any longer.

"Sis…? You okay?"

With a blink, the look faded from silver irises, and the innocence Yang was so acquainted with returned.

"Huh?" Ruby uttered, looking up at her sister, almost like she didn't remember where there were for a minute, having been so absorbed in her thoughts.

"Are you okay?" Yang repeated gently. "You've been kinda…off lately."

Yang thought it curious when Ruby's cheeks darkened to a pink ever so slightly, but what soon trumped that curiosity was guilt when a downcast look shadowed her sister's features. Almost like she was ashamed for letting darker emotions get to her.

"Sorry, sis," she mumbled. "I just…"

"Hey," Yang whispered when Ruby trailed off. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. I'm just concerned, you know? I don't expect you to be happy-go-lucky and hyperactive every minute of every day, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to be worried when you aren't."

Ruby granted her a shy smile. "Thanks, Yang."

Yang returned the smile, but still tested the waters carefully. "Everything okay at work?"

When Ruby's smile faltered, Yang knew she had hit the nail on the head. With that bit at least figured out, she decided to leave it alone for the time being. Ruby would come to her eventually.

Hopefully. The incident three years ago still fresh in Yang's mind begged otherwise.

"Things are okay, Yang, honestly," Ruby replied, managing a true smile once more. "I've had a rough few nights here lately, but I knew that going in. I guess…these few calls have just hit a bit closer to home."

Yang's stomach dropped. "Oh…"

"B-But I'm fine, okay?" Ruby insisted, her smile only growing in hopes to prove a point. "And look!" She pointed down the block. "Weiss and Blake are here!"

Making a mad dash for their friends, Yang tried to force a smile at Ruby's seemingly returned antics as she chatted up Weiss and Blake as they continued their approach, Weiss's shake of her head telling Yang that Ruby had returned to her old self.

Whether that was real or was to last, Yang didn't feel as confident.

XxXxX

When Ruby returned to work the next night, she couldn't help but admit that something had indeed changed. She didn't feel on top of her game like she normally did. Where she used to be full of positive, boundless energy and always ready with a smile, everything was now toned down several degrees. Sure, she was still doing her job well, making sure the callers got the help and comfort they deserved, but it all just seemed so…forced.

Sighing, Ruby moved some papers around on her desk in hopes to start jotting down some more book ideas. As one piece of paper fluttered to the ground, it uncovered another with one word scrawled out and underlined that had Ruby's heart increase.

 _Cinder_.

Clenching her eyes shut with a huff, Ruby knew the "now-not-so-mysterious" caller was the reason for her change in behavior. She knew she was the reason Ruby had not been able to enjoy her day off to its fullest, and why Yang had been so worried.

Not that Cinder was a problem—far from it, Ruby would insist. Still, she couldn't deny that the girl's circumstances hadn't given Ruby pause, causing what she had thought to be buried memories to resurface.

Of course, it wasn't all Cinder's doing, Ruby forced herself to remember, as the night she had first spoken to the girl, Ruby had dreamed of her suicide attempt for the first time in a while. Still, Ruby couldn't help but feel that the two were interconnected in some unfathomable way.

For only the second time that night, Ruby's desk phone rang, indicating Pyrrha had forwarded a call to her. Sparing the clock a glance, Ruby noted the time as **4:36am** before pulling the mic on her headset back to her lips. Readjusting her voice to the cheerful innocence callers had come to expect, Ruby picked up.

"Thank you for calling the Vale-!"

"You weren't there last night," the familiar svelte voice cut her off. Ruby couldn't help the shiver that spread down her back at the condescending tone.

"C-Cinder?" she asked.

"Who else?" Cinder replied with a huff and with what Ruby expected to be the roll of the eyes. The girl sighed briefly before repeating, "I called last night. You weren't there."

"I'm s-sorry," Ruby responded, wondering why she couldn't help but stutter this time around. "It was my day off."

"Good to know you continue to carelessly live your life while the rest of us fall victim to our demons."

Ruby shivered again. "C-Cinder… Did you…?"

"Cut last night?" she finished in a dry tone. "Yup. Still want to insist I'm strong?"

"I'm sorry," Ruby repeated, her voice now wet as tears sprang unbidden to her eyes, an unrelenting feeling of guilt overcoming her. "I-I…"

Another heavy sigh from the other line stopped her.

"Sheesh, don't take it so personally," Cinder said. "You know me and my cryptic personality; gotta blame somebody else 'cause it sure as hell ain't your own fault, right?"

When Ruby still couldn't force herself to respond, she could almost feel Cinder's demeanor shift through the line.

"Red?" she asked in a much softer tone. "What's wrong? You're not your…sprightly self."

Ruby managed a chuckle at the nickname, but her stomach instantly twisted when a tear splashed onto the desk before her.

"Red?"

Ruby could almost see Cinder smirk. "Yeah, you know… Ruby, Red; I figured it fit."

Ruby laughed a bit more and she could hear Cinder chuckle at well, no doubt pleased with herself for managing to lift Ruby's spirits even a bit.

"And I-I don't know," Ruby found herself attempting to explain. "Things have just been…hard lately."

"Don't I know the feeling."

"I've been…dreaming of my…attempt a lot more."

There was a moment where all Ruby could hear was Cinder's quiet breathing on the other end before a soft, "Yeah?" drifted across the line, almost blending into the static.

"I don't know why," Ruby continued. "I mean, it hasn't plagued me this much in years, and then just…all of a sudden…"

"Why do you do what you do, Red?" Cinder asked then. "I mean, just… _why_? With your past… How can you do _this_ all the time?"

Ruby laughed again, but it sounded a lot less humorous than before. "My sister asks me that all the time, so you'd think I'd have an answer, but the truth is I don't."

When Cinder remained silent, Ruby carried on.

"At first it just felt like the right thing, you know? I mean, I had been where most of the people who call here have been, surely I'd be of more help here than at…the supermarket or something. But…"

"It's not easy, is it?" Cinder finished again in a much more morose tone. "I'm sure our stories do nothing to help you forget."

Ruby shook her head. "I never expected to forget," she insisted. "I knew this would haunt me for the rest of my life; there's no running from it, despite how much you wish it. I just…didn't expect everything to come raging back like it is."

Another moment of silence passed between them before Cinder finally broke it once more.

"Why… Why did you want to…you know?"

When Ruby let out an involuntary squeak on her end, shocked by the bluntness of Cinder's question, the other girl immediately jumped back in.

"I mean… Shit, I know I can't just ask that."

Still, Ruby managed a small smile, feeling some of her old self return. "I… I want to tell you, Cinder, I do. But…"

"I know," Cinder mumbled back. "I'm just some stranger who calls all the time."

"I don't consider you a stranger, Cinder," Ruby told her, her voice filled with conviction. "You may think it's weird, but I consider all the people I talk to here my friends. Especially those I speak to more than once."

A beat.

"You think we're friends?"

Ruby chuckled nervously. "Silly, right?"

"No!" Cinder cried so instantaneously that it shocked them both. "I could…" her voice softened again, "I could use some more of those."

For the first time in two days, Ruby beamed.


	4. Chapter 4 - Cinder

**Chapter 4 – Cinder**

 _She's seeing red as she slams the boy against the wall, and it's not just the blood that flies in her eyes as she lands another swift punch to his jaw, a satisfying crack following this time._

 _"What the_ fuck _did you say about my sister?!" she screams, pulling him away from the wall only briefly before throwing him back up against it to punctuate her question._

 _He makes some unintelligible gargling noises, but is unable to produce no more than that. She grits her teeth harder as she pulls her fist back for one more punch._

 _"Ms Fall!"_ _an authoritative voice cuts in. "That is_ quite _enough!"_

 _An animalistic snarl rips from her throat as she lets the beaten boy fall heavily to the ground. Without sparing the teacher a glance, she moves to take her trembling sister's hand before pushing past anyone else._

 _"Ms_ Fall _!" the teacher shouts once more. "Get back here!"_

 _Flipping the bird over her shoulder to anyone who may have stopped to watch the spectacle, she continues her march down the hall and out of the school. As soon as they're outside, she cradles her sister's head into her side._

 _"One day, I swear I'll get them to stop messing with you," she grounds out with conviction._

 _Morose brown eyes only gaze up at their elder sister forlornly, silent as they always are._

XxXxX

A gentle knock at the door roused Cinder from her sleep. Groaning, she glanced at the clock to see it was well past noon.

"What?" she bit with as much hostility as she could muster, flinching at how hoarse her voice sounded instead.

"Emerald's coming over," Mercury's voice carried through the door and to her. "We were wondering if you wanted to come get lunch with us?"

Cinder chuckled dryly. "Sorry, but I'm not too keen on being the third wheel on what I'm sure will be a marvelous outing."

She heard Mercury huff before he tried again. "I'm worried about you, Cinder; you haven't left your room in days."

"It hasn't been that long…" she grumbled, staring dejectedly at the sheets of her bed.

"It has, actually," Mercury confirmed. "Three days, believe it or not. Please, Cinder?" he pleaded, something the gray-haired male didn't normally do. "For your friends?"

The word sent a wave of shivers down Cinder's back, causing her to feel worse than she normally did.

 _"I consider all the people I talk to here my friends."_

 _"You think we're friends?"_

 _"Silly, right?"_

 _"No! I could… I could use some more of those."_

What would Ruby say to her in this moment? No doubt she'd be encouraging Cinder to get out and do something rather than wallow in her self-misery. Still, that didn't make things any easier—though Cinder felt certain Ruby would know that, yet continue rooting for her to go anyway.

"Where did you all have in mind?" Cinder ground out.

She could almost picture Mercury's smug smile from the outside as he replied, "How about that place next to Tukson's? I know it's your favorite."

A small smile cast a glow upon Cinder's face then. "Deal," she replied. "Give me five minutes."

Before Mercury left her alone, he mumbled, "Thank you, Cinder," and Cinder couldn't deny her heart felt a bit warmer at the unbridled love that sentence carried.

XxXxX

Even though Cinder didn't want to admit it, the day turned out okay by her standards. She really did enjoy that little café located next to Tukson's Book Trade, and it was a pleasant surprise when the food didn't taste as bland as she had been expecting. For the first time in a long time, flavor was present, and she truly realized just how hungry she was. Because of this, she made sure to fill up, knowing this wasn't to last, and by dinner time, most likely food would be back to tasting like the cardboard it had for the past several years. Mercury and Emerald were good sports about her voracious appetite, however, and didn't say anything, nor did Mercury complain when he picked up the entire tab.

Even when they pulled up to the skate park the three used to frequent quite often before Cinder's dark days, they didn't act like they expected anything of her. Aside from a quick, "Your board's in the trunk, if you want it," by Mercury in passing, her involvement wasn't brought up. Her skateboard may have remained untouched in the car, but that didn't mean this outing was a waste. She was hanging out with friends again; regardless of whether she was joining in or not, Cinder couldn't help but feel this was a monumental step for her.

For the first time in ages, Cinder felt her face begin to ache from the smile she displayed the entire time Mercury and Emerald did their thing. Nothing—aside from Ruby—had made Cinder smile since she could remember, and while she could feel the lingering darkness lying dormant within her, at the moment, she would take the light shining down upon her, however minimal, and take her victories where she could.

 _I can't wait to tell Ruby,_ she thought, her smile only becoming more so.

XxXxX

"That's _great_ , Cinder!" the girl all but squealed through the phone later that night. "It sounds like you had a lot of fun!"

"I did, actually," Cinder affirmed. "I…honestly can't remember the last time I felt this…free."

"And how are you feeling now?" Ruby asked. "Since you're back home and it's been a few hours."

Cinder shrugged on her end. "Pretty good still, actually. Emerald's staying the night, and she and Mercury are playing video games downstairs. They invited me to join in."

"And are you going to?" Cinder could almost see the smile on the younger girl's face as she spoke.

Cinder grinned. "I think so."

This time, Ruby did squeal, making Cinder erupt into a laugh that sounded all too familiar to her own ears, yet she couldn't quite place it. When she realized the laugh was her own, however, so foreign from lack of use—because when was the last time she laughed, honestly?—a warmth bubbled in her stomach. Sure, there had been the occasional chuckle recently, but this was a sound unbound from any restraints. She hadn't laughed like this since…

Since…

Shaking her head, the darkness retreated and the light returned. Cinder knew that gloom would strike back with a vengeance all too soon, but refused to let it take control in this moment.

Besides, she took some comfort in knowing that when it did strike, she knew she'd have Ruby on her side to help fight its advances.

"Hey, Ruby?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

The line was silent for a minute before a shy, "For what?" was heard.

"For…" How could she possibly begin to explain this? "For being this…constant light in my life," she attempted to explain. "I know we haven't known each other long, and, hell any interaction we've had has been through a damn phone, but… You've helped more than I ever dared to hope."

"Aw, thanks, Cinder," Ruby cooed, Cinder wanting to believe a blush was now displayed across young cheeks.

Another minute passed, and Cinder was ready to say her goodbyes and join the—lively, from the sounds of it—match of Super Smash Bros. downstairs, but Ruby's quiet voice pulled her back.

"Can I tell you something?" she asked.

"Anything," Cinder replied with conviction.

"I've… I've never thought of you as just being part of my job. When you call…it's more like I'm talking to a close friend, than a…client."

An anxious pause.

"Is that weird?"

Cinder had to admit, she was floored by the girl's honest words, never once thinking she could mean much to a complete stranger, despite a kind soul like Ruby. Yet, it didn't sound like a farce; Ruby's words—her _feelings_ —were true. Pure.

Cinder's heart began beating a mile a minute, yet she refused to acknowledge the blush steadily rising on her face.

"It's not weird," she whispered. "And thanks, Ruby; that…means more than you know."

"Anytime," the girl chirped back, no doubt relieved her feelings hadn't been cruelly shot down. "I know the darkness may come beckoning quicker than we'd like, but…you really can always turn to me, okay?"

Cinder's smile grew. "Okay."

"Can I ask you something now?" the girl spoke with a small giggle.

"What?"

"Can I…give you my number?" Cinder could hear the nerves in her voice as she uttered the question. "In case…you call again and I'm not working?"

"Is that the only reason?" she couldn't help but joke.

"Y-Yes!" Ruby cried with a giggle. But after another moment's pause, uttered meekly, "Maybe?"

Laughing once more, Cinder willingly wrote down the girl's number, right under the 1-800-CALL-RUBY that she realized was beginning to change her life. Underlying the new number thrice, she deemed her work sufficient with a warm smile.

"I've got it down," she said.

"G-Great," Ruby mumbled back. "I'll…talk to you soon then?"

Cinder nodded, despite the fact that girl couldn't see. "I can't promise it will be in as high spirits as this time, but yes, definitely."

She heard Ruby expel a deep breath on her end before whispering a quiet goodbye. Cinder echoed it back before continuing to listen to the dial tone as the girl hung up, not being able to possibly know that Ruby was doing the same blocks away.


	5. Chapter 5 - Ruby

**Chapter 5 – Ruby**

 _The sky is dark and full of clouds filled to burst that day as she stands huddled under a small tent with the threat of storms lingering in the air. Yet, the storm that resides within her she feels could put any attempt of Mother Nature's to shame. She knew these things were always depicted so solemn and dreary in movies, but this was real life. Hadn't her mom always told her to stop living in the fantasy worlds her favorite movies and shows created and come back to reality? Where was that line now?_

 _Her mom…_

 _The eighth round of tears that day begins to form in her eyes as images of a face identical to hers, shimmering metallic eyes, and kind smile fill her mind. She tries to hold on to that image before it's replaced by sickly skin, lifeless eyes, and the constant beeping of dozens of machines._

 _The nightmarish image soon prevails however, and she opens her eyes in a panic, releasing the hot tears from her eyelids._

 _Of course, the scene before her isn't any better than what her mind continues to conjure up, as she's now left to face the reason she's out here in the first place._

 _A beautiful mahogany casket lays before her, its top covered head to toe in beautiful arrangements of flowers. Idly, she twirls the lone red rose between her fingers. An old man drones on and on about the fragility of life and how it only takes a moment for it to be shattered. Most of the words go over her head, her brain too young and distant to bother deciphering the words lost on her. Instead, she chooses to focus on the rose._

 _"_ This flower is your namesake, did you know that, sweetie? _" her soft voice fills her head, almost as if she's squatting before her like she had been all those years ago. "_ Whenever you're feeling down, remember this flower, and remember your beauty, your grace, and your delicateness. Then, remember it's color; it's bright red petals, how they glimmer in the right light, and feel the beauty flow into you. _"_

 _"_ Ruby! _" she had chirped, giggling as she let the flower be placed behind her ear._

 _"_ My sweet Ruby… _"_

 _She opens her eyes again upon feeling her father's hands upon her shoulder, and before she knows it, she's standing right before the wooden box, watching as her father places a rose of his own on top. He's whispering something she cannot hear, before he backs away and encourages her sister to do the same. There's tears in her eyes too as she places another rose, the quiet whisper of, "I love you, mom," drifting across the silence._

 _Finally, it's her turn. She takes several quick, nervous steps towards the looming coffin, biting her lip as she tries to decide what to focus on. Her young, ten-year-old mind may not be able to fully process what today's events mean, nor the hectic panic and struggles the past few weeks have presented, but she does know one thing for certain._

 _Her mother is inside that coffin, and she's never coming out._

XxXxX

"Ruby… Ruby!"

Silver eyes flickered open, blinking into focus the image of yellow and lilac.

"Y-Yang?"

Her sister smiled softly down at her, the gentle glide of her fingers through Ruby's hair reassuring.

"You were having a bad dream," Yang explained. "I was walking by your room when I heard you crying. You okay now?"

Ruby wasn't sure whether confiding in her sister would help in this case, or make things worse. It wasn't a little known fact how protective Yang had always tended to be when Ruby was involved, and after the death of their mother and Ruby's sequential spiral into depression, that protectiveness had ignited even more so. To tell Yang that she had just dreamed of their mother's funeral, for what had to be only the second time since her attempted suicide, would no doubt worry Yang.

Yet, she knew from experience that keeping things bottled up did nothing good as well.

"I'm fine," Ruby replied somewhat honestly. It was true, she did feel better now awake, but she knew falling back asleep would most likely send her back in front of her mother's casket, herself transforming back into a ten year-old girl.

"Well, if you want to talk about it, you know I'm always here, right?" Yang then asked, rubbing her hand down Ruby's back in hopes to comfort.

Ruby looked to her sister and smiled, priding herself that it managed to seem honest and true. "I know, Yang," she replied. "Thanks."

Pulling her into a hug, Yang finally stood up from the bed. "I love you."

"Love you too, sis."

With that, Yang walked out of her bedroom, conscientious enough to close the door. Sighing, Ruby settled back into her sheets. Rolling onto her side, she glanced at the clock. **5:34pm.** She'd have to be at work in little under three hours; there wasn't really much reason to try and fall back asleep. Her eyes fell from the clock to her phone, and she anxiously took her bottom lip between her teeth.

Should she? Would her attempt to reach out be accepted?

Choosing not to think any longer on the matter, Ruby reached for her phone, falling back onto her back as she stared up at the screen. Bringing up the most recent thread of messages, her fingers hovered nervously above the keyboard.

What should she say?

It's funny, Ruby thought idly, for as well as she listened to others and helped them to work through their issues, she had little knowledge how to go about expressing her own.

Perhaps that inability to reach out for help provided the slippery slope that had led to her attempt years prior.

She pressed the send button without even realizing she had typed anything, and went back to read what was just sent.

 _Cinder? It's Ruby._

Wow, Ruby inwardly huffed. That was generic.

Placing her phone under her pillow, she rolled back onto her side, figuring it would be awhile before any reply would come through—if at all, the darker part of her mind jumped in.

Surprisingly, her phone chose that exact moment to buzz underneath her. Reaching back beneath her pillow with haste, Ruby unlocked her phone to read the incoming message.

 _Yeah, Red?_ it read. _You okay?_

Ruby couldn't fight the small smile that immediately broke free from Cinder's concern. They hadn't messaged much since that night Ruby had given the girl her personal number. Aside from Cinder shooting her a quick hello hours later so Ruby would have her number as well, their conversations had been limited to strictly questions of whether Ruby worked that night or not; choosing instead to keep all their conversations in a working, professional environment. One reason Ruby was now so nervous in breaking the silently established rule.

 _I'm fine,_ she typed back. However, quickly after sending that message away, she sent another. _Actually, that's a lie; I'm not._

Not even a minute passed.

 _What's wrong?_

Now Ruby kind of wished they _were_ talking on the phone; so she could gauge how Cinder meant her question. Was she just asking because it was standard procedure in this case, or was there real emotion in that question? Did Cinder actually want to know?

 _Well…_ Ruby didn't know exactly what to say. She didn't necessarily want to drop this on Cinder so suddenly, but she couldn't deny she needed to talk to _someone_ about it. _Are you up to some role reversal?_

 _So, I'm taking your job here, right? You need to get something off your chest?_

 _Yes._

She cursed herself for the simple, vague reply, but what else was she supposed to say?

 _Then by all means, Red, I'm all ears. :)_

The smiley face at the end of the most recent text had Ruby's heart fluttering for unknown reasons. Granted, they hadn't been texting long, but from what Ruby knew of Cinder strictly from their over-the-phone conversations, she didn't seem like the type to use emoticons.

Could it be she was trying to put Ruby at ease? Was she _legitimately_ trying to be a friend to Ruby when she needed one most? Like she had been for Cinder?

 _Well… I've been having these…dreams lately. Regarding why I…tried to kill myself. They just started up out of nowhere, and I guess I'm just trying to deal with them, but I don't know how. I mean, I haven't had these kinds of dreams since before my attempts! Why now?_

There was a longer pause between her confession and Cinder's reply this time, and Ruby made herself repeat over and over that it was because Cinder had to process what she had just unloaded and think of a meaningful response; not because she had suddenly abandoned her to deal with this on her own.

When her phone lit up this time, Ruby had never felt more relieved.

 _What exactly do these dreams entail, if I may ask?_

 _Well, the first was reliving my actual attempt, and then others have just been memories—happy ones, but still—and then last night I dreamt about… I can't say it._

Ruby fought back tears at her cowardice to admit to Cinder—perhaps the one person who would understand her struggles the most—the reason behind the darkness of the past eight years of her life. Maybe she wasn't cut out to help others if she wasn't even able or willing to help herself.

 _Yes, you can, Ruby,_ Cinder's reply came minutes later, no doubt trying her best to instill confidence in the young girl.

A moment passed before another text from Cinder came through.

 _If I can confide in someone, you can too. And I hope that person you choose is me._

A small smile flickered across Ruby's face as a lone tear escaped her eye.

 _You mean that?_

 _More than you may think._

Biting her lip, Ruby hastily typed out her response before she could doubt herself once more and erase it. Once it went through, and Ruby saw the reason itself out there for the world to see—okay, so really just Cinder and herself, but it felt more monumental than that—she felt a weight begin to lift from her chest.

 _I dreamt about my mom's funeral_.

 _Damn,_ Cinder's text read. _I'm sorry, Ruby. How long ago did she pass?_

More tears trailed down Ruby's cheeks as she texted back, but she was relieved that the tightness in her chest that was usually present when she cried was absent this time. The tears now almost liberating.

 _Eight years. I was ten._

Another pause in their conversation gave Ruby time to build up her courage and ask what she had wanted to since day one.

 _What about you? What's the reason for your…depression?_

Quickly adding another text in a panic, she added, _I mean, if I can ask, of course!_

Ruby never let her eyes leave the three dots inside the gray bubble that indicated Cinder was typing. Her grip around her phone tightened, her breathing grew shallow, and she subconsciously began to rock back and forth in anticipation.

This was it. The moment of truth. Both of their souls would soon be laid bare before the other.

Only then, Ruby felt, would they truly be able to pick up the pieces.

 _The death of my sister_.

Ruby knew that the new wave of tears this time were not falling for herself, but for Cinder. She mourned for her friend, and the life that had obviously been so cruelly ripped away from her.

 _I'm so sorry, Cinder,_ she sent back, wiping her eyes. _How… How old was she?_

 _Eight. I was fourteen._

Ruby found herself gnawing on her lip again. What was she supposed to say back? Should she apologize again even though she just did?

Before she had a chance to decide, Cinder seemed to choose to go on opening up; something Ruby was in no way going to stop.

 _I know it's cliché and all, but she was my world. Then, one stupid car accident ripped her from my life. Mom, dad and I made it out with our lives, but she wasn't so lucky. Is it so wrong to wish it had been me instead? Or one of my parents?_

 _I don't think it's bad, necessarily,_ Ruby replied, doing her best to get back into her role as an advisor. _Grief makes us think what should be horrible things, but they don't seem like it in the heat of the moment. I know I still sometimes wish it was me that had died that night instead of my mom. Once I even wished it was my own sister, and although I feel like shit for ever thinking that, since she was the one that did the most to help me turn my life back around, I don't for once blame myself for thinking that._

It was liberating, Ruby thought in a cryptic sense, to truly put all your demons out on the table in front of yourself and someone else. She supposed she understood why she wasn't allowed to do this at work, but sometimes this is what was needed. Letting other people know exactly what you went through; not in a sense of trying to one-up another person's grief, but so a kind of comparison could be made. Others needed to know they weren't alone in this. And although it had been Ruby's mom to pass and Cinder's sister, there was now an even deeper connection between the two of them, she felt. While different people, they had still lost someone incredibly close to them; what was most likely the _most_ important person to ever enter their life.

 _How did…your mom die?_

Cinder's question had Ruby flitting back to the present, and her stomach twisted at the question presented to her. Still, she wasn't going to lie or hide anymore. This was a day of change and beginnings for both of them. Plus, it was only fair after Cinder had told her all about her sister.

 _Pancreatic cancer,_ she wrote back, shuddering at the slew of memories that flashed through her head at the term. _She was dead within six months of finding out._

 _That's awful, Red. I'm so sorry._

 _It's okay,_ Ruby quickly responded. _It's…cathartic in a way to talk about it after all this time._

 _I'm kind of feeling the same way, actually._

 _Good. :)_

When a gray bubble of periods didn't immediately pop up from Cinder, Ruby posed another question she'd wanted to ask lately. Still, she wondered if she should. Would the sudden change of subject be too random? Would it be rude to just totally divert from such heavy material? Or would the change be wanted? Necessary?

Acting again before any more thought could be given, Ruby posed the malignant question.

 _Cinder? Would you…maybe want to meet in person?_

The other girl's response was almost instantaneous.

 _Really?_

Ruby couldn't help but let a small giggle slip, picturing Cinder balking at her phone in that moment.

 _Yeah! You're my friend and I…really want to meet you._ Feeling almost inclined to say so, she forlornly added, _But I mean, if you don't want to…_

 _Stop that train of thought right there, Red,_ the beginning of Cinder's text had Ruby's heart stutter to a stop. The end had it picking back up at an erratic rate, her cheeks soon flushing thereafter. _I would love to._

'Love to?' Cinder would really… _love_ to meet her? _Her_?

 _Great!_ Ruby sent back, never more thankful you couldn't stutter through texting, otherwise she probably wouldn't be able to get a coherent sentence out. _I would love to, too! I have to work here in a bit, but…are you free tomorrow? I have the day off._

Ruby's cheeks flushed even darker as the words, _Tomorrow sounds perfect. :),_ lit up her screen.

Her bottom lip between her teeth once again and a quick, _Awesome! :D,_ made its way back to Cinder. Promising she'd text the girl as soon as she could so they could set something up, Ruby put her phone away, jumping up from her bed with renewed energy.

The sudden change in her demeanor, of course, instantly being picked up upon by Yang as she headed downstairs for a meal before her shift.

"You seem…a lot more chipper now," the blonde said, not being able to help the arched eyebrow being sent Ruby's way.

"I am!" Ruby exclaimed in response. "I'm going to be meeting a friend tomorrow and I'm super excited now!"

"So, your dream didn't cause you any more trouble?"

Ruby shook her head as she munched on a granola bar. "Nope! I actually talked with her about it and I feel loads better now." Not catching the look that screamed utter betrayal that flashed in Yang's eyes, Ruby grabbed her backpack and headed for the front door. "See ya later, sis!"

Yang watched her go, the crack in her heart growing larger once the door slammed shut.

"Yeah…" she mumbled to an empty house.


	6. Chapter 6 - Cinder

**Chapter 6 – Cinder**

 _"Where is she?!" she shouts, struggling against the three nurses holding her down. "Where is my sister?!"_

 _"Miss, please, you need to calm down," one speaks up in an attempt to comfort. "You were seriously injured in the accident."_

 _"I don't care!" she yells back, straining so hard one nurse lets go, giving her a chance to break free and leap from the bed. She collapses to the floor in a heap, every bone in her body screaming in protest, but her mind is made up. She_ needs _to see her sister. "Where the fuck is my sister?!"_

 _The news hits her harder than the pickup truck that rammed into them in that intersection. If the wreck hadn't left her crippled, the words of her parents certainly did._

 _She couldn't be dead. She just couldn't._

 _"Stop_ lying _to me!" she screams, acting on irrational impulse and pushing her mother back as she attempts to console. The adults in the room are stunned into silence, giving her ample opportunity to jump from the bed once more and stagger from the room on nothing but pure adrenaline._

 _"_ NEO! _" she hollers, stumbling and tripping her way down the hall. Her dad had said she was just one room down, but_ damn it _, why are the rooms so far apart?_

 _She crumbles against the door, using the dead weight of her body to push it open and fall into the nearly vacant room. The orderly standing by the bed startles at her entrance, but before he can make to move to say anything or help her up, she snaps an order at him._

 _"Leave us."_

 _"But, miss…"_

 _"_ Please _…"_

 _Glancing at the body in the bed and the girl in a broken heap on the floor, he nods hesitantly before retreating, even being so kind to shut the door as he departs. She painfully crawls across the cold tile floor to the bed, her muscles aching and crying as she pulls herself into some semblance of standing, still relying heavily on the bed to support her._

 _The tears that had been fighting to break free since her parents told her finally push past her final defenses, and begin to stream steadily down her face. Her sister does indeed lay there, looking peaceful, as if she is simply resting, but she knows the unfortunate harsh truth; the flat line on the many monitors next to her confirming her worst fears._

 _"Neo…"_ _a sob rips from her throat as she finally sinks back to the floor in pain and grief._

 _When her parents and the nurses come to retrieve her minutes later, they find her curled into a ball and weeping. When she wakes up the next day, she isn't the same, and right then she knew…_

 _She never would be again._

XxXxX

"So wait… You're really going out today? Without us having to convince you?"

Cinder rolled her eyes, trying her best to pay Mercury as little attention as possible as she readied herself in the bathroom.

"For the tenth time, Mercury, _yes_. Not all days are bad."

"Clearly," he scoffed, yet with a big smile. "You haven't stopped smiling since you woke up."

Cinder paused then, glancing to him leaning against the doorframe before looking at herself in the mirror. Her stomach flipped pleasantly at the sight that greeted her. After the dozens of times she had done the same, only to find an empty shell or ghost staring back at her, for the first time since she can remember, she saw herself blinking confidently back.

Her amber eyes were alive with light, that sickly-looking yellow color having been fully revived; her dark, shoulder-length hair delicately framing her face instead of laying flat or sticking out at odd angles. Most importantly, a smile was indeed upon her face, no longer drawn into that constant scowl she was afraid she would never be able to vanquish.

"Wish I could meet this person," Mercury spoke up again. "Tell them thanks for me, okay?"

Cinder turned to look at him after putting her earrings in, a quizzical look upon her face. "Thank them for what?"

Gathering his friend in a hug only reserved for her and Emerald, he responded, "For bringing my friend back."

Chuckling, Cinder hugged back. "I will."

XxXxX

Being early was not something Cinder was accustomed to. Even back before her world went to shit, she was always running late to things, so she was surprised when she found herself in the middle of the park by herself with nearly fifteen minutes to spare until their arranged meeting time. Sighing, she ridded a bench of its leaves before sitting down and pulling out her phone.

 _So, you managed to get me here fifteen minutes early. If you knew me better, you'd know that's a pretty impressive feat, Red._

Grinning, she placed her phone back into her pocket, only for it to buzz not five minutes later.

 _How is it_ my _fault you're early?_ the text read. _Anxious much?_ A silly smiley face capped off the message.

To her detest, her heart rate picked up as she read Ruby's reply. She _was_ anxious, and that's what bothered her. Maybe she had reason to be—after all, Ruby was probably the most important in her life now after Mercury and Emerald, and the fact that she had ascended to that position in the little time they'd "known" each other said something significant—yet Cinder had never been one to get nervous over something as trivial as a first meeting. Yet, here she was: early, dressed to impress—when was the last time she had worn _earrings_?—and butterflies in her stomach.

 _Damn you, Red_ , she thought with an amused smirk.

 _So, how will I know you're you?_ another incoming text from Ruby had her coming back to the present.

 _Well, unless you're blind, I'm the only one sitting by the fountain,_ Cinder couldn't help quipping back. _But, in case someone shows up before then, I'm sitting on a bench with a leather jacket and short black hair._

 _Okay!_ Ruby replied, wisely choosing to ignore the jest. _I'm dressed in a red hoodie!_

Now knowing what to keep her eyes peeled for, the flurry of butterflies intensified, her eyes darting every which way.

Suddenly, with two minutes to spare until noon, a dot of red appeared on the horizon. Those pesky insects inside her quickly stilled, leaving her stomach clenched in anticipation.

What if she looked nothing like Cinder had pictured? What if _she_ looked nothing like Ruby expected? All their conversations thus far had flowed easily, like they were old friends; would that change now that they suddenly were meeting face to face?

 _Now I remember why I don't go out more,_ Cinder grumbled to herself.

The red dot became more human-shaped as it approached, and Cinder found herself standing up to greet the approaching figure. After all, she was still the only person by the fountain, and what were the chances that the first person coming her way was conveniently also wearing red?

A young girl suddenly took shape, walking briskly towards where she now stood, bright smile lighting up her cherubic face.

Only one thought ran through Cinder's addled brain: innocence.

Pure, unbridled innocence.

 _This_ was the girl she had been talking to all this time? _This_ was the girl who had tragically lost her mother?

 _This_ was the girl who had nearly died of her own volition?

She was just a kid!

Cinder's throat went dry as the girl brought up a hand to wave jovially, her approach hastening as she jogged the final length. Cinder brought a shaky hand up in attempt to return the wave, a nervous smile flickering across her face.

"Cinder!"

Another flutter of her heart as the girl cried out to her, and some part of her lurking deep within scoffed at how soft she had become in this girl's presence.

"Hi, Ruby," she returned once the girl came to a stop before her.

Well, at least she wasn't stuttering.

"Thanks for agreeing to this," Ruby explained. "I was kinda worried it was too soon to meet, but I just couldn't wait any longer!"

"I wouldn't have agreed if I thought it was too early," she answered back, relieved to feel her confidence returning, sounding like she always had over the phone when they talked.

She was surprised, then, to see Ruby blush, the girl looking down at her scuffed black Converse.

"Heh-heh…" she giggled softly. "Well, g-good!"

"So, you've lured me into the light," she jested with a grin. "I hope you have some kind of plan."

Ruby chuckled softly again, yet still refused to meet Cinder's eyes. The older girl merely rolled hers.

"Red?"

A flicker of silver met her amber, and Cinder's grin became a serene smile.

"Yeah?"

"You are planning on looking at me aside from that greeting, aren't you?"

The blush splayed across young cheeks only intensified. "Y-Yeah," Ruby mumbled, abashedly.

As if finding the courage deep within herself, she finally looked up, smiling meekly at Cinder.

"There. Much better."

"S-Sorry," Ruby sighed. "I just… I'm nervous."

"Whatever for?" Cinder inquired, truly curious. Ruby had never let on that she was ever intimidated by Cinder before.

"I just…" Ruby looked away again briefly before meeting Cinder's gaze once more. "I'm kinda…socially awkward? I don't have many friends, and the ones I do have are basically only because they're my sister's friends too."

"But…you work with people." Cinder was a bit dumbstruck at this. Socially awkward? She would have never assumed that from their previous conversations.

"O-Only when it's face to face!" Ruby quickly explained. "That's why I love my job; I get to work with people, make friends, yet I don't have to do it in person. I kinda…lack there."

"Well, you're doing well so far," Cinder praised, throwing in a wink just to get that adorable blush from Ruby again.

"Well…" Ruby paused, almost hesitant to speak. "You're easy to talk to, Cinder."

She couldn't help but chuckle. " _That's_ surprising. Usually I send people running if I so much as look at them the wrong way."

A heavenly chuckle resonated in Cinder's ear as Ruby bent over laughing in front of her.

"Maybe your eyes are a bit intense, but that's it!" she said. Seeing Cinder's questioning look, she flushed once more and quickly added, "But it's a good intensity! Like, your eyes were the first thing I noticed coming over!"

"Well, your eyes are pretty unique too, Red," Cinder told her. "Don't think I've ever seen silver eyes before."

"Yeah… Heh," Ruby kicked at the ground bashfully, but Cinder grinned at the lack of a blush that time. "Dad always said I got it from mom."

Cinder's smile faltered a bit at the comment and a brief silence fell between them, as if reminding them what really brought them together, and perhaps the entire reason they were here in the first place. Still, Ruby quickly brightened back up, those piercing eyes sparkling at her once more.

"But, I was hoping I could show you this really cool place for lunch!" she exclaimed. "Have you ever been to Oobleck's?"

"Don't believe I have," Cinder responded. "Lead the way, Red."

Beaming, Ruby spun around and led the way out of the park, Cinder staring at her back with an affectionate smile the entire time.

Oobleck's was a different kind of eatery from anything else in Vale. What most would consider a diner, each booth was also equipped with a personal holographic screen upon which movies, TV, or games could be played, the occupants of the booth being the only ones able to hear.

"I come here all the time to play Angry Grimm," Ruby explained as they shuffled into their own booth. "The owner says I have the highest score here!"

Cinder laughed at the exuberance with which Ruby talked, immediately going for the remote for the hologram, before stopping suddenly and looking to Cinder embarrassedly.

"That is… Unless you want to watch something?"

Cinder waved her off with a smile. "By all means, don't let me stop you. I want to see this 'champion' at work."

Comforted by her words, Ruby immediately loaded the game and started playing, explaining the game animatedly to Cinder the entire time. When the time came to order, Ruby hadn't even spared the menu a glance, Cinder assuming she had indeed been here so many times, she knew the list before them by heart. She did pause, however, five levels in, turning the hologram to a music station and looking across the table to Cinder.

"Sorry I just kinda…jumped into that," she mumbled. "You'll see here shortly that this is where my social skills lack."

"Talking one on one?" Cinder asked by assumption.

"Yeah… I just…can't keep eye contact," Ruby did indeed glance away at that, carrying on while fiddling with the straw of her soda. "And I… I stutter, and it may not look like I'm paying attention when you talk, but I am! A-And…"

"Hey, hey, hey," Cinder cut her off gently, bending her head down in an attempt to meet Ruby's eyes. When she could see silver again, she smiled. "Don't worry about it, Ruby, okay? Just show me the girl I know; a few bumps and bruises along the way isn't going to send me running."

Smiling gratefully, Ruby straightened back up and nodded.

Their conversations were effortless after that. Everything from political beliefs to their favorite color was touched upon—though it was obvious that the both of them did their best to keep the conversation away from sisters and mothers. They knew those would be brought back up eventually, but today was not that time. By the time they left the diner, it was well into the afternoon, Ruby having showcased her incredible ability to eat every dessert on the menu even _after_ devouring her hamburger, the two of them showing each other some of their favorite TV shows the entire time.

"Thanks for agreeing to this again, Cinder," Ruby spoke up as the two of them walked aimlessly down a sidewalk in downtown Vale. "I had a really fun time."

"As did I," Cinder agreed. "Aside from that outing with Mercury and Emerald a few days ago, this is the first time I've been out in ages. It's…refreshing. It reminds me the world still goes on around me, even though I may be numb to it at times."

Ruby shot her a sympathetic look, but she continued speaking before she had a chance to get out the imminent apology Cinder knew was coming.

"But this was needed, really. I need to be reminded that I can still have fun—live life like everyone else—even despite what happened. I can't… I can't let it affect me. Even though that's most of the time easier said than done, I know now it's possible. Hopefully it will just become easier as time goes on."

"It will, Cinder," Ruby spoke so honestly, Cinder would believe anything she had said. "I've heard so many stories at work about people conquering their demons and moving on, even though they had been through similar strife. If they can do it, you can too."

"So can you, Red."

The first blush since the park lit up Ruby's face then as she mumbled, "We're talking about you here." Cinder just smirked and let it go.

Still, as they came to a stop in front of a quaint apartment building, Ruby turned to Cinder and hugged her gently, the butterflies that had frozen upon seeing Ruby earlier finally thawing and resuming their flight even more madly than before. Still, she returned the hug with fervor.

"This is me," Ruby told her after she pulled back, inclining her head to the building behind her. "I'll… I'll walk you home though…if you want me to."

Cinder shook her head, but smiled. "That's okay. I'm just glad I got to see you back safely."

Once again, those cheeks before her reddened, and Cinder only chuckled as she kept track of how many times she had gotten the girl before her to blush today.

"You can call or text me whenever," Ruby said in parting. "If I don't pick up, I will at work."

"It's kind of your job then, isn't it?" Cinder gibed lightly.

Ruby simply grinned back. "Yeah."

"See you later then, Red. Take care."

"You too, Cinder."

As she turned to walk away, however, Ruby called out to her.

"You wouldn't…want to do this again, would you?"

The nervous, almost disheartening look being sent her way left Cinder with no other option—not that it meant her response was forced in any way.

"Definitely," she affirmed.

The ecstatic, childlike grin Ruby shot her then stayed with Cinder the rest of the day and well into the night.

* * *

 **Quick author's note: Cinder's look in this fic is basically how she looked in episode 7 of volume 3. If you haven't seen it yet, do it now. My evil child looks so precious.**


	7. Chapter 7 - Ruby

**Chapter 7 – Ruby**

 _"Mommy, you believe in heaven, right?" she asks the sickly figure in the bed, now just a shell of the vibrant woman from just a few months prior._

 _"Of course I do, sweetie," the hoarse voice rasps back. "Don't you?"_

 _Ten year-old eyebrows knit together in consternation as she huddles close to her mother, both of them managing to occupy the small hospital bed._

 _"I don't know…"_

 _"Well, what has you confused?" the all-too-familiar hand slowly running through her fingers still reassuring, even by shaky hands._

 _"I_ want _to, so I know you'll be okay, but… But I_ don't _want to if it means believing won't keep you here with me," she finally answers._

 _"Sweetie, I'm afraid I have to go somewhere, whether you believe in it or not."_

 _"Wherever it is will be a good place, right?" Innocent eyes look up, blinking. "You'll be happy?"_

 _The woman smiles, ruffling her hair quickly before resuming her comforting strokes. "What if I told you I_ wasn't _going to leave you?"_

 _A puzzled expression takes over her face. "But daddy said you had to go somewhere soon. Now you're not?"_

 _A grave shake of the head is counterbalanced by a gentle smile. "Well, maybe dad believes something different than you, and that's okay." A light kiss to her head has her sighing. "Would you rather me go somewhere and be happy, or stay with you?"_

 _"Stay with me, of course!" She cranes her head back to look at the figure holding her, her expression now contemplative before she adds, "Wait… Will you still be happy if you stay with me?"_

 _She's squeezed in the most powerful hug manageable. "Of course I will, sweetie; but you have to realize something if I stay."_

 _"What's that?"_

 _"It may not_ feel _like I'm with you sometimes."_

 _"Huh?"_

 _A small giggle cracks from a dry throat, another loving squeeze accompanying it. "I mean, even though I'll always be with you, you will not be able to see me, hear me, or touch me."_

 _"But that doesn't make any sense!" she cries, becoming distressed. "Will Yang be able to see you?"_

 _A shake of the head. "No one will; but, Ruby, I want you to_ believe _. Believe I'll always be with you, even when you begin to doubt. I know things have become very confusing very fast, and unfortunately they will only continue to do so here soon, but that's why you have to believe. Have faith in me, and I'll put my faith in you in return."_

 _"For what?" Inquisitive eyes blink rapidly up, and a smile breaks upon chapped lips._

 _"You'll understand some day," is the unfulfilling response, but another gentle kiss to her cheek keeps her calm. "And I'll patiently wait for that day. After all, I'll have all the time in the world…"_

XxXxX

Instead, Ruby was the one who waited; waited to see her mother again—for years, she did—but she never showed. For the longest time, she thought she was doing something wrong; that she needed to do something different in order to see her mother. She remembered her constantly telling her to have faith, but Ruby still wasn't quite sure what that meant even years later. By the time she was thirteen and her mother still hadn't showed, Ruby began to doubt herself, her faith, her capabilities, and her mother.

It didn't take much more effort to drag her downs into the blackness that would soon consume her.

Why hadn't her mother showed? Had she just lied all that time ago to comfort her? But why give her that false hope? How could she have done that to her own daughter?

It was these questions that kept Ruby up at night, sobbing wetly into her pillow.

Maybe it wasn't her mother's fault at all. Her mind soon changed tracks and made her believe it was all on _her_. It was all Ruby's fault. Because she failed somehow as a daughter, her punishment was to never see her mother again. She had failed the most important person in her life, and because of that, banished her to the void. Where was she? What was she thinking? Was she trying to get to Ruby still? Was she scared?

It was these thoughts that drove Ruby to make her first cut at the ripe age of fourteen. In no time, more and more accompanied the first, each one created with one resounding echo in her mind.

 _Failure_.

It didn't help when she heard Yang talking to their dad about her mom, about how _Yang_ knew her mom was still around. She talked of instances when she was firm in her resolution that "mom had been looking out for me."

If Yang was seeing her, then why wasn't she?

It was these feelings of being left out, discarded for her sister, that brought Ruby to consume her first drink and take her first pill a few months later. They were the only reason she could sleep at night, and even then she was sometimes plagued by nightmares. Nightmares of a woman in a hooded white cloak crying out to Ruby and bemoaning her for her lack of faith. Asking again and again why she didn't believe. Ruby had tried to respond countless times that she _was_ believing _damn it_ , but the figure just kept repeating, " _Believe, believe…_ "

It wasn't until her first session of therapy after her attempt when she finally started to understand.

But by then, the damage had already been done.

Still, now she knew her mother _was_ always with her; and while the game of pretend seemed futile to Ruby more often than not, it still sometimes helped her cope.

Of course, those days were few and far between, even now.

A gentle knock at her bedroom door had Ruby looking away from her laptop where she had, again, been busy fiddling with her novel.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?" Yang's voice travelled to her, hesitation clear in her voice.

"Of course, sis!" Ruby chirped, rolling away from the desk as her sister entered. "You know you don't have to ask. I must've told you hundreds of times."

Yang chuckled and Ruby immediately picked up on the awkward air lingering around her.

Arching an eyebrow, Ruby asked, "What's up?"

"How… How are you?"

Ruby rolled her eyes and giggled herself. "Sis, seriously, what's _wrong_? Why are you being all…awkward?"

"Well, you've been kinda…distant lately. I want to give you space, but I also want to make sure you're okay. Are you?"

Ruby suddenly understood, one particular memory of a few weeks before her attempt standing out in particular. Yang had been almost suffocating Ruby with attention, care and support and Ruby had suddenly snapped, yelling at Yang to stop coddling her and that she wasn't her mother. Yang had taken it pretty hard, and Ruby noticed that she was trying her best to give Ruby her space, but it was difficult. That's what happens, Ruby supposed, when siblings grow up as close as she and Yang did.

Standing, Ruby went over and gave Yang a crushing hug, one the blonde was usually on the giving end of.

"I'm okay, Yang, I promise," she stated. "I'm sorry I've seemed distant lately, but I've been trying to give you your space too. I don't want to have to depend on you as much anymore, and I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings."

"I guess I always knew this time would come, but I just wasn't as prepared for it as I thought," Yang explained, hugging Ruby back briefly before parting.

"Plus, I've met a new friend who's in a boat similar me those years ago, so I've been trying to help her out, but I guess I'm also starting to go to her more than you because of it."

"Is that who you went out to see the other day?" Yang asked.

"Yeah! Oh, Yang, I would love for you to meet her!" Ruby exclaimed, her eyes lighting up with a mirth the blonde hadn't seen in a long time. "She just exudes this confidence everywhere she goes, which makes her situation even sadder to me, because it's obvious she's suffering. And she's just so beautiful and nice and funny and…!"

"Okay there, sis, I think I get the picture; she's great," Yang replied with another chuckle.

"She's amazing!"

"Oh, is that all?" Yang joked. "Down, Ruby; heel."

Ruby immediately erupted in a blush at that, looking at the ground abashedly.

"I know…" she mumbled. "I just… I want to get to know her so bad, and help her so much, but I know how tough it will be for her to open up, but she's made such great progress already and I know I'm too attached too soon, but you know how I am, Yang…"

Smiling, Yang ruffled her hair affectionately. "I know, sis. But don't worry; I'm sure she's thankful to have someone like you around, no matter how much it may not seem like it at times. After all, that's how you were with me."

"Yeah…"

Smile turning coy, Yang added, "So, when are you gonna see her again?"

Blush returning, Ruby mumbled, "I don't know. We haven't texted each other for a few days. I don't want to bother her or seem clingy, so I'm doing my best not to text first, but what if she's having a bad patch? Should I check up on her, or wait for her to call or text me?"

Sympathetically, Yang shrugged. "You know her, Rubes, not me. Whatever, though, I'm sure things will work themselves out. You are the best, after all."

Still, Ruby's eyes hardened as her gaze became thoughtful.

"Yeah…"

XxXxX

A few days later, however, things did indeed straighten out. Ruby was back to prancing around her room as she readied for the day and, effectively, another outing with Cinder. The older woman had finally texted last night, apologizing that she hadn't kept Ruby up to speed. Ruby had been right, as Cinder had explained the past few days had been a sort of pitfall she had just now climbed out of. Ruby, of course, had assured her not to feel sorry about any of it, and they had come to the understanding that either of them were allowed to text the other for anything at anytime no matter how trivial—after Ruby had admitted to wanting to contact Cinder just to ask if she was okay.

Ruby didn't know what to expect of the day, as Cinder had only asked if they could get together again. Still, she was pumped as she left her bedroom and descended the stairs, having actually considered sliding down the banister instead—something which she hadn't done since before her attempt. Yang was downstairs watching TV, but got up when she heard Ruby rifling through the kitchen.

"Hot date?" she quipped with a grin, leaning against the doorframe as she watched Ruby continuously dart to and fro.

"No!" Ruby cried, her blush betraying her.

"Cinder?" Yang then prodded.

"Yes."

"So, it _is_ a hot date!"

"I never should have told you about her," Ruby grumbled, her back to her sister as she poured herself a bowl of cereal.

Yang just continued to give her what Ruby would call "bedroom eyes" the entire time the younger busied leaving the house. However, as Ruby approached the same fountain she and Cinder had met at before, her nerves refused to settle, and her cheeks refused to douse their fire.

Ruby knew she had grown too attached to Cinder in just the short amount of time they had known each other. She had always been like that ever since she was a child. As a baby, she clung to her toys, truly believing they were real and had emotions and everything. She would babble on to them about everything like they were a person, and each toy lost or destroyed was a hard hit to a young Ruby.

Then, throughout her late childhood and early teenaged years, she started clinging to people. She jumped at the opportunity to make a new friend, though many were honestly scared off by how "obsessive" she became with them. It was no secret anywhere that Ruby was like this with her mother, but that could be tolerated by many. Many children were extremely close to their parents, even one more so than the other; yet when it came to them themselves, they became unnerved with such lavishing attention.

Weiss had been one of many to have been clung to. She had been Ruby's first friend in high school, even though she was a year ahead of Ruby. Having been in a completely new environment, Yang being two years ahead of her with no shared classes, had been terrifying for the young teen, so she had glued herself to the first person who had showed her a trace of kindness—that person being Weiss, although that "kindness" had not been shown in the most conventional of ways.

Ruby had knocked said girl to the floor turning a corner in her frantic rush to find her homeroom, effectively knocking the books the silverette had been holding to the floor. After a well-earned scolding from Weiss, Ruby had given her best puppy dog eyes which had put Weiss under a spell, the girl instantly forgiving the girl's clumsiness even to this day. Their relationship may seem strained to others, but Ruby and Weiss knew they were each other's best friend, and that's all that mattered.

Weiss was perhaps the only one besides Yang who really knew everything that happened regarding Ruby's depression and suicide attempt. She was subject to witnessing many of Ruby's nightmares during sleepovers, breakdowns in the middle of school, and bouts of anger everywhere in between. So, when Weiss woke up one morning to a frantic voicemail from Yang saying Ruby was in the hospital after trying to kill herself, there was never a doubt in her mind that she would be spending the day by Ruby's side instead of in class, of which, as her 4.1 grade point average provided, she would never have _dreamed_ of skipping before.

Now, Ruby knew what had happened with Weiss was happening again with Cinder—and even to a higher degree, in a way, which frightened Ruby more. As "obsessed" with Weiss as she was, she had never developed…feelings…for her like she was discovering she was with Cinder. Weiss and her never flirted and, while Ruby recognized Weiss was definitely beautiful, she had never thought of her in _that_ way. But Cinder? Ruby erupted in another brilliant shade of red as all the adjectives she could use to describe the older woman bombarded her mind.

Yes, she definitely had it bad.

So, upon seeing Cinder lounging on the same bench before, Ruby did her best to quash the rising heat within her, put on a neutral smile, and approached the girl as calmly as possible.

Obviously, she failed, as Cinder began laughing once she came to a stop before her.

"Sheesh, Red, you're walking like a robot," Cinder instantly quipped, hiding her bemused grin behind a hand. "What, did you get reprogrammed and are still booting up?"

"No!" Ruby cried indignantly, a blush returning to her cheeks the instant her guard was let down.

"Careful there; now I think you're overheating." Cinder chuckled once more, throwing a wink her way for added effect.

Ruby simply crossed her arms and grumbled, turning her head away from the object of her affections for the moment.

"If you're gonna tease me all day, I'll just go home…"

"Aw, c'mon, Red, don't be like that," Cinder said with a small whine. "I have something planned I think you'll just _love_."

Although Ruby wanted to remain mad—even though she wasn't really—a quick glance behind her at Cinder's now welcoming smile had her mirroring one back. Not to mention her casual talk of a "plan."

"What is it?" she asked, turning back to face Cinder fully, her heart fluttering upon noticing how Cinder's eyes lit up as well once she had finally turned back around.

The light in Cinder's eyes dwindled back down to a content waver before she smirked and took Ruby's hand, beginning to drag the girl out of the park.

"It's a surprise. Now come on."

XxXxX

"Cinder!" Ruby squeaked once they made it to their destination, nervously eyeing all that lined the walls in the room they were standing in. "I can't do this!"

"Sure you can, Ruby," Cinder replied, actually using her real name this time, much to another flutter of the younger girl's heart. "After all, you've got the best teacher right here!"

"You've done this before?"

"Please," Cinder scoffed playfully. "I've _competed_. Took second place in Nationals my junior year of high school. It's…one of the things that kept me going after Neo…"

Seeing the shadow cast over Cinder's face, Ruby quickly stepped up before her, boldly reaching for her hands and clasping them within her own. Amber met silver, and Ruby flashed her her best smile.

"I'd love to learn, Cinder," she stated. Blushing, she added in a mumble, "Especially from you."

Whether or not Cinder heard the latter part went unresolved, yet Ruby quickly found she didn't care when the older woman bent forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her head. Face splitting into a grin upon seeing Ruby's frozen stature, Cinder merely shook her head before walking over to the wall behind them and grabbing the equipment they would need and then pulling Ruby by the hood of her hoodie into another room.

"Okay, Red, focus," she spoke up, trying to hide another laugh and holding out a simple bow to the smaller girl.

Almost robotically, Ruby reached out to take the proffered weapon, only one thought still running rampant through her head:

 _Did Cinder really just kiss me?_

Heart beating erratically, Ruby shook her head to dispel the thought—no matter how pleasing and invigorating—to indeed focus on the task at hand. The two of them were in a large, open space. It was split into six partitions, each with its own target at the very end of the long room. While it resembled your typical shooting range, Ruby was still anxious as Cinder was handing her an arrow rather than a round of bullets.

"Archery?" she uttered, watching the individual next to them fire his own arsenal of arrows in rapid succession, each landing precisely in the center of the target or in the ring just outside it.

"You'll pick it up fast, I promise," Cinder told her. "Here," moving behind Ruby, she gently grabbed her arms, making Ruby raise the bow into a typical firing position. "You want to pull the string back with your dominant hand," she pulled Ruby's right hand back until it came to rest beside her ear, "and hold the bow with the other. You want your grip to be tighter on the bow than the string, as an easy, gentle release will increase your accuracy, okay?"

Ruby was really trying her hardest to pay attention, but each exhale from Cinder caressed her ear, causing a wave of shivers to course through her body every time. Not to mention that incredible warmth her hands and body provided at such close range. Ruby was doing her damnedest not to just burrow backwards into Cinder's body, feeling as if she was completely protected from any harm in this moment.

"Ruby?" her name travelled to her on another gentle breath, and Ruby nearly jumped out of her boots.

"Y-Yeah!" she yelped. "G-Got it!"

Her cheeks darkened as Cinder's chuckle parted strands of her hair at such close range.

"Okay," she started explaining again. "Now, you take the arrow," lining it up, she placed the stalk in Ruby's right hand, "and hold it as carefully as you do the string. Then, just aim," she guided Ruby until she was certain she'd hit as center as possible, "and release."

The arrow rocketed away from them with a gentle _swish_ and down the range. Seconds later it had embedded itself in the ring two away from the center. Ruby felt Cinder clap her on the back.

"Not bad for your first shot, Red," she praised. "Pretty sure I missed the target entirely my first time."

"You're just saying that," Ruby mumbled abashedly, scuffing her shoe on the floor.

"Maybe I am," Cinder replied with a smirk and another wink. "Maybe I'm not."

Ruby handed the bow off to Cinder who then took her own turn, Ruby watching attentively and in awe as the woman before her released projectile after projectile like a goddess, her aim ringing true every time as previous arrows fell to the floor after being knocked down by its fellow brethren.

Ruby took several more turns herself, though she made sure to keep herself from doing as well simply so she could bask in the feeling of Cinder's arms and heat encompassing her each time. She knew Cinder eventually picked up on her plot, however, as each time the older girl would be sure to let her hands linger or move her face in closer, leaving searing impressions all along Ruby's arms and feeling the ghost of her breath in her ear.

By the time they left the range hours later, Ruby was a flustered mess and Cinder had an incredibly smug look on her face.

"Enjoy yourself?"

Ruby was surprised she hadn't spontaneously combusted at this point, feeling her face heat up even more, her ears and neck now feeling the effect of her constant blushing. When she tried to speak, yet only ended up nearly squeaking like a concerned mouse instead, she simply nodded her head frantically instead.

"Me too," Cinder said, another smirk coloring her face.

They continued to walk in silence, though no more than a few minutes had passed before Ruby felt Cinder slide her hand within her own, threading their fingers together with care.

 _Oh my gosh, ohmygosh, now she's holding my_ hand _?_ Ruby all but squealed in her mind. Still, the part of her that wasn't busy having a meltdown made sure she squeezed back, letting Cinder know the gesture was appreciated and returned.

She missed the affectionate smile—not smirk—that lit up Cinder's face as her sentiment wasn't denied.


	8. Chapter 8 - Cinder

**Chapter 8 – Cinder**

 _She's anxious as she walks down the hallway with her father. She knows her mother told her they had come here today for a good reason, yet she still cannot quell the knots forming in her stomach. The long, bright hallway; the tall, looming figures all dressed the same; it's unnerving for a six year-old, no matter what her mother said._

 _Still, she tries to keep going over the one singular thought that is to keep her rooted._

 _"_ Your baby sister is coming. _"_

 _Her mother had gasped that in between bouts of pain on the drive here, glancing at her in the rearview mirror occasionally and flashing her a smile. Upon arriving at the hospital and two doctors immediately wheeling her mother off, the first round of nerves settled in. Why did her mother have to disappear? Didn't she want to be here to greet her sister?_

 _None of it made sense, but she's now a bit calmed as her father continues to lead her down the hallway hours later._

 _"_ Ready to meet your sister? _" he had asked with a smile, moments before taking her hand._

 _They come to a stop outside a particular room, and her dad pushes her further gently._

 _"_ You go on in first, I'll be right there. _"_

 _She looks back at him, but the gurgling coming from the room has her interest piqued, and she's stepping in not a moment later. Her mom rests propped up in a bed, looking as tired as she does when she and dad come back from that place called a "gym." Yet, there's not a towel and water bottle in her arms this time, but rather a small bundle wrapped in a pink blanket._

 _She deduces that's where the noises are coming from._

 _Her mother spots her and gives her a smile—an exhausted smile, but a smile all the same—and beckons her closer. Tentatively, she moves towards the bed._

 _"_ Come meet your new sister, Cinder. _"_

 _She peers over the railing of the bed as her mother angles the blanket so she can see. Nestled inside, eyes closed, tiny fingers in mouth, her baby sister sleeps. Despite just having been born, her head is covered in thick brown hair._

 _She carefully reaches out her own small hand, but leaves it hovering just above her sister's head._

 _"_ You can touch her, honey, _" her mom whispers._

 _That being all the incentive she needs, she softly strokes the baby's cheek. Groggy brown eyes slowly blink open, immediately locking on to her own curious amber. Blindly, an arm swings up, but then fingers are quickly grasping at hers before latching on, a gentle cooing coming from small lips._

 _She blinks, and she knew then that an unbreakable connection had been formed._

XxXxX

"So, how are things, Cinder? It's been a while since our last meeting."

Cinder glowered at the man sitting across from her. At the his patient smile, she rolled her eyes and looked away out the window. She hated being confined here with a passion, and blamed Mercury for her entrapment vehemently. This was the last time she agreed to anything in a moment of weakness just to sate his concerns.

"Have you been having any more nightmares?" the man prompted next. "Last time they were quite troubling, if I recall."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Of course they were troubling. Isn't that why they're called _nightmares_?"

"Have you had anymore?"

Another huff. "Look," she locked gazes with his chocolate brown eyes, "I know when I first started coming here, shit was all over the place, but the only reason I saw you in the first place was to calm my best friend, who most likely would have sent me to a mental facility otherwise. But things have changed. I'm fine; he's fine; everything's _fine_."

"And what was this change?"

Cinder ground her teeth together. The nerve of this guy. This is why she had put off coming here for so long; she didn't do these 'confess your sins, give me your sob story, inner healing' kind of deals.

At least as long as the person asking wasn't a young girl with an affinity for red.

"Why do you think something changed?" she retorted instead of giving him what he wanted.

He quirked a smile, eyes glinting behind his small, round spectacles. "Why are you trying to deny it?"

" _Excuse_ you?"

"Well, in my years of experience, you seem to be displaying the telltale signs of denial. Trying to hide something." His smirk turned into a pure smile. "So tell me, Cinder, why are you trying to hide your progress?"

"I'm not…"

"Please don't lie to me. Whether you think it's obvious or not, I can plainly see you've gotten a little better since our last meeting. To start, I have never seen your eyes this alive; even though a small part of the hardened glint, I'm sure, can be attributed to my poking and prodding."

"You got that right, at least," Cinder grumbled.

Releasing a quiet chuckle, the man shook his head, his silver hair following his every movement.

"Please, Cinder; indulge me."

" _Fine_ ," Cinder huffed. "Mercury made me call a hotline after a particularly bad night and I started talking to this girl. She said she had been where I am now and started preaching for me to not give up, and that I can overcome this."

"Sounds like some of what she said stuck."

"I guess, but…" Cinder trailed off, her eyes softening as they refocused out the window.

"But you got in too deep?" the man offered.

Swallowing a particularly large, unwanted knot in her throat, Cinder uttered, completely distraught, "Yeah."

"Can you please explain?"

Cinder didn't want to; she really didn't. Yet, maybe talking would help her straighten things out. Deep down, she knew what was going on, yet she kept playing dumb, remaining ignorant to her real feelings and the dangerous waters she was treading in.

So, perhaps against her better judgment, Cinder spoke.

"It was… It was supposed to just be a one time thing," she began. "Something done to get Mercury off my back. But I called and…and it wasn't anything like I had expected. I thought I was going to be talking to some bored old person, who's only reason for working a hotline is because they had nothing else to do, or no other job to turn to. They wouldn't care about me; why should I give them the time of day to pour my heart and soul out, just to get an empty 'sorry' in return?

"Instead, _she_ answered, and I was taken aback. She spoke with so much compassion, so much energy; it's like her bright energy slowly started melting away the darkness inside of me right then. I… I was harsh on her that first night because I didn't _want_ help; I didn't think I deserved it, but somehow she made me think it was possible I did. Mercury probably picked up on that first, because a few nights later I found the card underneath my pillow. I called again, she was there, and the rest is history."

The doctor smiled as Cinder looked to him, and even though he most likely knew the answer, he still asked, "So what's the problem?"

Cinder shut her eyes and clenched her jaw. "I l-like her, okay?" The admittance was barely an audible whisper, yet the breath it was released on lifted a tremendous weight from her shoulders. "I…want to be happy, and now I know I can be, but… Sometimes it's just so hard. A-And I don't want to cling to her or drag her down, but I just feel so much better when she's around and…"

"You feel you don't deserve her kindness," the man finished.

Sighing heavily, Cinder bit her lip before looking up at him pleadingly.

"Doctor Ozpin," she mumbled, "what do I do?"

Ozpin merely smiled again. "You fight," he replied simply. "You fight; you follow your heart. The rest will come, Cinder, you have to believe that."

Absorbing his every word, she recounted bright silver eyes and a cheerful smile, and her heart lifted ever so slightly from the oppressive darkness that had weighed it down for so long. It wouldn't be easy; she had known that already; had for years. Yet she knew she had been holding back in fear that she wasn't good enough for Ruby. How could she be, as damaged as she was? Yet Ruby had yet to turn her away, and in her heart of hearts, Cinder knew that meant something substantial. Ruby was willing to fight for her—she had been since their first conversation; now Cinder just had to join in that fight.

XxXxX

A knock on the door had Cinder's heart start pumping overtime. That could only be one person. Sure enough, not a minute later, a lilted, chipper voice breezed up the stairs and down the hallway.

"Hi! I'm Ruby!"

Just the sound of her voice was now enough to bring a smile to Cinder's face, and she knew there was no turning back. There never had been.

Mercury's voice was quick to respond to the younger girl, entertaining her long enough for Cinder to finish getting ready. Even from her room upstairs, she could tell the difference in Mercury's voice as well. He was finally meeting the girl who had brought about so much change in his friend, and she knew he would forever be in Ruby's debt.

Minutes later, Cinder descended the steps to see the object of her affections, dressed in her typical color of red. Cinder found the smile refused to be wiped from her face.

"Cinder!"

Nor did her heart refuse to flip pleasantly at the cheer so evident in Ruby's voice.

"Hey, Red," she greeted, working doubly hard to keep her voice calm and collected.

Shooting Mercury a quick smile, she escorted the girl from her home, a hand gently on the small of her back.

"So, where are we going?" Ruby was asking before the front door had even closed. "You wouldn't tell me _anything_ last night! It's not another surprise, is it?"

"And what if it is?" Cinder questioned coyly, finding it within her to wink, her heart fluttering once more at the brilliant shade of red that took over Ruby's face. "Did you not like the last one?"

"I-I did!" the girl beside her yelped. "In-Incredibly so!"

Nudging Ruby playfully, Cinder told her, "Then stop whining."

Blush increasing more so, Ruby stuffed her hands into her hoodie pockets and mumbled, "Yes, ma'am."

Luckily, their destination wasn't too far away; a simple two-block walk that led them to a park on the outskirts of town. However, they didn't stop there, Cinder choosing then to take Ruby's hand and pull the girl past the playground, and along a worn path that took them into the surrounding foliage.

As they started making their way up a hill, Ruby piped up.

"Cinder?"

From her spot ahead, Cinder grinned. "Hush, Red, we're almost there."

Ruby silenced after that, though her grip on Cinder's hand did tighten imperceptibly. Cinder was certain she would soon go into cardiac arrest if this kept up.

Not five minutes later, however, they exited the foliage into a clearing on top of a hill, the sprawling city laid out before them, the just-setting sun lighting it up brilliantly.

"Wow!"

"Welcome to my secret spot, Ruby."

Ruby immediately ran over to the edge of the hill they were standing on, underneath the giant, lone oak tree that occupied the land. Coming to stand next to her, Cinder glanced at the girl from her peripherals, seeking approval of her sacred land.

It was glaringly obvious shining in those silver orbs she had come to adore.

"This is amazing, Cinder!" Ruby cried. "You can see the whole city from here! It didn't seem like we climbed _that_ much of a hill!"

Chuckling, Cinder took one step closer to Ruby, their hands now touching occasionally should each of them shift just the right way.

"Neo and I discovered this place years ago," she spoke, noticing how fast Ruby turned to look at her, pain and sympathy evident in her eyes as soon as Cinder brought up her sister. "The path we took to get here is only so worn down from the two of us. When we first came upon this place, there wasn't any trail to follow; we made it ourselves."

"What made you come back here?" Ruby asked. "I mean, not many people would use the amount of effort to get through all those trees and bushes."

Looking to the brunette, Cinder sighed, knowing she was taking the next monumental step in her recovery—and, thus, their relationship—now.

"Honestly? We were running."

Ruby's eyes widened, her pinkie wrapping around Cinder's without hesitation.

"From who?"

Swallowing, Cinder managed a small smile, pulling her hand from Ruby's regrettably.

"Why don't we sit down?"

Nodding, Ruby followed her over to the tree before they sat down. Cinder spread her legs out in front of her, allowing her back to rest against the cool bark of the tree. Ruby pulled her knees up to her chest before resting her head on her arms, facing Cinder, eyes rapt with attention.

Letting out another breath, Cinder faced more of her demons.

"Neo was bullied a lot in school. She… She never talked; the doctor's said it was selective mutism, but it stretched further than that. She _never_ talked. Not around my parents and rarely ever around me."

"But she could talk?" Ruby asked. "She did speak sometimes?"

"Rarely," Cinder repeated. "She wasn't mute in a physical sense, she just… I don't know. Whenever she did talk, it was in a quiet whisper, and usually only one word at a time. The longest thing she ever said to me was 'I love you,' and that only happened once or twice. She relied more on noises to relay her feelings. She'd whimper when she was sad, or make an excited whine when happy; she laughed too, she laughed all the time. She just…never _spoke_."

Glancing to Ruby, she could see the question in Ruby's eyes, and smiled somberly.

"I know what you want to ask," she said. "Was she always that way, right?"

Pink dusting her cheeks no doubt from being so easily read, Ruby simply nodded in response.

"The answer is, she wasn't," Cinder continued. "Up until she was three, she did talk. She talked all the time; like any toddler would. She would chat up a storm, even if it didn't always make sense."

"What happened to make her stop?"

Cinder shrugged then. "We don't know. I… I could never find out. She wouldn't tell me, not even years later. From the time she was three to the day she died, she just… _didn't_. It was rough on my parents, dragging her from specialist to specialist and never finding any real diagnosis or cause, and when it came time to put her in school, they didn't know whether to enroll her in normal classes or impaired classes. She was really smart, way beyond her years, but she would never contribute in class.

"It was rough on me too. I was only nine when she stopped talking, and for a while I felt like it was my fault she did so. Maybe I had said something wrong, and I just had to say the right thing to make her start again. I suppose now it was just my big sister instincts making me want to take all the blame. Still, I never stopped loving her. She was still my little sister, and now she needed protecting even more so."

Somewhere in the midst of her tale, she had leaned over to rest her head on Ruby's shoulder. She hadn't even really been aware of this until she felt a small arm encircle her waist and bring her closer to the warm body next to her. When she felt Ruby rest her head atop hers, Cinder fought down her rising blush in order to continue her story.

"So, yeah… Needless to say, she was the target for a lot of bullying at school. Kids calling her a freak, dumb, retarded. She tried her best not to let the words affect her, but I knew they did. Every day we'd meet in the hall to walk home after school, I could see the pain and hurt in her eyes. She suppressed it, but it was there. I ended up fighting her battles for her, and obviously that got me in a lot of trouble. Still, I always found it worth it; getting detention, being suspended, whatever. It was for my little sister."

"You were really close to her," Ruby mumbled, absentmindedly running her fingers through Cinder's hair, the elder girl nearly closing her eyes in bliss at the feeling. "Now I know why the loss was even more devastating to you than normal. Not only did you lose your sister, you lost your purpose."

"Yeah," Cinder uttered, her voice cracking against her will.

Neither of them said anything for a moment, and Cinder took the time to gather herself and prepare for Ruby's questions, not doubting for one second they weren't coming.

Still, the first one asked was one she hadn't really been expecting so soon.

"When did you first cut?"

"The first anniversary of her death," Cinder mumbled in answer. "It had been a year, and I still just felt so empty. I just wanted to feel…"

"I did too," Ruby replied. "Anything was better than the despair, even pain."

Cinder nodded, though the action was a bit hindered by their position.

"My first cut was right on the wrist, out in the open for everyone to see," Ruby continued. "It wasn't really deep because as soon as I saw the first drop of blood I panicked. Still, it was liberating in a sense, and all too soon it became addicting."

"It felt like that for me too," Cinder agreed softly. "Mine was further up my arm, near the junction of my elbow. I couldn't risk my parents seeing, so for the longest time I cut where they could be easily hid."

"I just didn't care," Ruby explained, so brokenly and flat it caused Cinder to shiver. "I think by that point I was too far gone. So what if Yang saw?"

"What about your dad?" Looking up slightly, Cinder strained to look for that light in Ruby's eyes. She was relieved to find it still there, though it had been smoldered to a dull waver.

"My dad also kind of shut down after mom's death. He turned to the bottle and kinda just stopped…being a dad. I think when Yang saw I was heading the same way, she moved us out and on our own. I guess she hoped it would help me, but the damage had already been done." Looking to Cinder, she flashed another tender smile. "What about your parents? How did you meet Mercury?"

"As soon as I was eighteen I left and never looked back. My parents healed without any problems. They cried, they grieved, and they moved on; yet for some reason I couldn't, and that made all this even worse. I was angry at them for being able to move past her death, it was like they were forgetting her, and I couldn't stand the thought."

"But they-."

"But they weren't, I know," Cinder cut her off bitterly. "I knew that all along, I just couldn't bear the thought of that happening to me. I didn't want to forget Neo; I couldn't.

Anyway, yeah, my eighteenth birthday I was out of there. I already knew Mercury from school, so I really started living with him then. He was still with his dad then, but a year later the two of us moved out on our own. He's been with me ever since."

"I'm glad he was there for you, Cinder," Ruby whispered. "I know he probably came off as annoying more often than not, but it's good you had someone like that looking out for you."

"Yeah," Cinder muttered. "I gave him a lot of hell over the years but…had it not been for him," her cheeks heating up bit by bit, she looked Ruby in the eyes and finished, "I wouldn't have met you."

Ruby beamed then, another brilliant flush lighting her face before Cinder leaned forward and pressed her lips to hers.

The touch was electrifying and everything and nothing like Cinder had dreamed. Ruby's lips were chapped, yet held a softness all their own, and they almost seemed perfectly molded to fit Cinder's. The poor girl had immediately gone rigid at the initial contact, but a gentle hand to the back of her head from Cinder gave her all the incentive needed to respond. Cinder's chest had never felt as light as it did at her reciprocation.

They didn't part more than a millimeter from each other before Ruby giggled and kissed Cinder again. Grinning, Cinder all but pulled Ruby into her lap so the girl was straddling her, their lip lock only intensifying the third and fourth time.

"I'm going to beat this, Ruby," she whispered between kisses. "I know I will."

Ruby mirrored her grin before nuzzling into her shoulder, a happy sigh escaping her now slightly bruised lips.

Both girls wrapped in each other's warm embrace, they would end up falling asleep there under the tree, not returning to their respective homes until well past midnight, smiles stretched across their faces, and hearts beating frenetically.

As one.


	9. Chapter 9 - Ruby

**Ugh, I'm sorry for the short chapter this time, guys. Unfortunately, my motivation for this story has severely dwindled down to nearly nothing. Which is why this is the second to last chapter. I had a lot more planned for the plot, but I just can't continue to write something my heart is no longer in. It's not fair to me, but it's especially not fair to you guys. Luckily, I think I can still wrap this thing up next time and not have it feel extremely rushed.**

 **I still admire all the love this story has received, despite this ship not being one of the most popular or widely received. You guys rock.**

* * *

 **Chapter 9 – Ruby**

"Ruby?"

"Hmmmm?"

It was a few days later, and Ruby found herself sitting under the tree in Cinder's secret area with her crush. Presently, she was reclined back against the older girl, the latter's arms wrapped snuggly around her middle, the back of her head being peppered with the occasional kiss now and then. It was a beautiful day out, with white puffy clouds passing by overhead, a gentle breeze drifting through the air to keep the temperature comfortable, and Ruby was spending it in the best way. Out in it all, in the arms of her…

Girlfriend?

Ruby still wasn't too sure what to call her and Cinder. Sure, they had kissed at this very spot only a few short days ago, but nothing more had been discussed. Did that give Ruby the permission to automatically assume they were dating? Or did the kiss mean nothing more than simple affection?

Perhaps if Ruby hadn't spent all of her prime teenaged years in the pit of depression, she would have had some dating experience under her belt, rather than going in blind now.

"Are you even listening, Red?"

A gentle flick to the back of her head had her squeaking in surprise and springing forward from Cinder's lap.

"Sorry! I'm sorry!" she cried.

"Lost in thought, are we?" Cinder presumed with that oh-so-sultry smile that had quickly put Ruby under its spell.

"U-Um… Yes?"

Chuckling, Cinder leaned forward to press a chaste kiss against Ruby's cheek before pulling her back against her, nuzzling her face into soft red-brown locks.

"You're adorable."

Ruby erupted into a bright shade of red at those words.

Forget the kisses; perhaps the most shocking thing to adjust to in a relationship—because, whatever they were, this _was_ a relationship—was the tender words of love passed between each other.

Sure, Yang had called her adorable all her life, and even Weiss had mentioned it once in a blue moon, but this? This didn't have that subtle teasing undertone; this wasn't said in a huff, a haughty grin present as it passed thin lips.

This was said endearingly, and with a whole different kind of physicality Ruby was used to. It was on a tier higher than Ruby had ever known before. This didn't accompany a noogie, or a shove to the shoulder. Kisses and cuddles were all that preceded it.

And Ruby wasn't quite sure how to deal with it.

So, she evaded. Perhaps the one thing she had taken away from her depression above anything else.

"S-So, what were you saying?"

Another short laugh passed under Cinder's breath before she rested her chin on Ruby's shoulder.

"I've been doing some thinking lately," she started.

"Yeah?" Ruby prodded, now fascinated in watching Cinder thread their fingers together in front of them. "What about?"

Ruby could almost see amber eyes hardening beside her as Cinder revealed on a breath, "How successful are these group therapy kind of things?"

"You…want to go to one?"

Now Ruby could almost see the roll of those same golden orbs.

"No, Red, I was asking for my dog. He needs to join Milk-Bone's Anonymous."

"What? You don't have a dog."

So this wasn't one of Ruby's finer moments.

A heavy sigh permeated the air between them then, but it wasn't long before a muffled rumble of laughter followed.

"You're an idiot, Ruby," Cinder scoffed.

"H-Hey!" Ruby spun in her grasp then, looking back with defiant silver eyes. "It's not my fault just being around you fries my brain! Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

At a sleek raised brow from Cinder, Ruby clasped her hands over her mouth in embarrassment. Another startled "eep" escaping before her mouth was locked tight.

"We'll talk about _this_ later," Cinder said with a devilish grin Ruby was ashamed to admit made her body tingle pleasantly. "But for now," that grin turned tranquil and loving, "you never need to feel nervous around me, Ruby. Okay?"

Slowly taking her hands away from her mouth, Ruby nodded. "I can… I can try."

Another quick peck to her nose. "Good. Now, try answering my question again."

"Well," Ruby tried to calm her tumultuous thoughts. What the hell was even going on anymore? "I know I've talked with several people at work who went on and on about it. But, in the end, I think it really depends on the individual and what they take from it. You have to be willing to listen to others, sympathize with them, and then just as openly reveal your own demons and accept any help in return."

"Did you ever consider it?"

Ruby shrugged, looking at the ground between them now, now sitting cross-legged in between Cinder's legs.

"My therapist had mentioned it once in passing, but I didn't really give it much more thought than that." After a quiet pause, Ruby added, "Maybe if I had been more ready for help at the time, I'd have agreed after more persuading, but I was so ready to accept the darkness that encompassed me, I didn't really see the point."

"That was my line of thinking too, for the longest time," Cinder added softly.

"Then what changed?" Ruby asked, unknowingly looking to Cinder with those big, innocent eyes the elder girl had fallen for upon first glance.

Leaning forward so their foreheads were touching, Cinder exhaled, "I met you."

Another wave of heat quickly conquered Ruby's cheeks again.

"M-Me?" she squeaked not unlike a mouse.

Another snicker. "Is that really so hard to believe?"

"I m-mean, yeah; kinda." Ruby looked away, choosing instead to measure the difference in hand size between them she pressed her palm flat against Cinder's. "I've never really been told I make that much of a difference to someone. No one's ever…placed me on that kind of pedestal before. I guess I just feel like…like I don't deserve-."

"Don't," Cinder cut it, pressing a kiss to Ruby's lips to effectively silence her. "You deserve every bit of my affections, Ruby. If anything, I don't deserve them to be returned."

Smiling slightly, Ruby returned, "Now _you_ don't."

Cinder grinned. "Guess that means we're perfect for each other, huh?"

Blush intensifying, Ruby nodded. "Y-Yeah."

Cinder continued to stare at her with her trademark grin, Ruby unable to meet her eyes abashedly.

"So will you come with me?"

The question finally drew Ruby's attention back. "To a meeting?"

Cinder nodded. "I found one that's an open-group kind of thing. You go when you feel you need to, but attendance isn't required from week to week. I figured I'd give it a whirl, and if I didn't like it, I wasn't expected to stick around."

"You… You've really done your research with this, haven't you?" Ruby couldn't help but mention.

Cinder shrugged the matter off, though Ruby giggled upon noticing the light pink dusting upon older cheekbones.

"So what if I have?"

"I think it's admirable, Cinder; really," she answered, another of her pure, honest smiles lighting her face. "Look how far you've come! A month ago, you wouldn't even call a hotline, and you only did so—begrudgingly—at the demand of a friend. Now, you're actively looking into group therapy. Your depression doesn't have control of you anymore; you've broken free of its restraints."

Another smile threatened to break upon Cinder's face. Ruby noticed, hers dying away slowly.

"What?"

"How you can be so deep and profound like this and then be a complete, adorable spaz the next minute amazes me," Cinder explained, looking coy.

"H-Hey!" Ruby lightly smacked Cinder's hand away as it reached to no doubt ruffle her hair or the like.

"It's a good thing, Red; calm down."

"Says you…"

"Aren't I the only opinion that matters?"

Ruby didn't have an answer for that and, at another laugh from Cinder, resigned herself to defeat.

Relationships were damn confusing.

XxXxX

Two days later, she met Cinder to go to their first meeting. At eleven in the morning, they met in front of a small café, having agreed they'd walk to the assembly place together: a large hall used for this very kind of thing.

"Coffee?" Cinder asked, holding a cup out to her.

Beaming, Ruby accepted the hot beverage before kissing Cinder on the cheek in thanks. It was only minutes later, after they had started walking, that Ruby realized what she had just done on sheer impulse.

"Was that okay?" she asked, most likely out of the blue to Cinder.

"Was what okay?"

"Kissing you on the cheek like that. In public? Just…because you got me coffee?"

Taking Ruby's hand with her free one, Cinder looked to her with a smile.

"Isn't that what girlfriends do?"

Ruby wondered when she could finally be around Cinder and _not_ blush.

"Is t-that what we are?" Upon seeing a flash of fear ignite in Cinder's eyes, feeling her beginning to pull her hand from Ruby's grasp, she squeezed tight and jumped back in rapidly. "N-Not that I don't want to be! I just… I had been wondering if it was okay for me to assume…"

The fear quashed, an easy smile thankfully retook Cinder's face.

"Miss Rose, do you mean to say I am your first?"

Looking away, Ruby mumbled, "Yeah."

A melodic chuckle had her looking back hesitantly.

"Well I'm honored," Cinder exclaimed, even throwing in a little bow as flourish. "Now that 'lost puppy' gape all the time makes more sense."

"I-I don't look like a lost puppy!"

"You do and it's great."

"You're horrible…"

"I'm amazing and you know it."

It seemed Ruby wouldn't be getting the hand of this relationship thing for a long time still.


	10. Chapter 10 - Cinder

**Warning! Warning! Mushy, gushy, OOC fluff ahead! Read at own risk! I am not responsible for any heart attacks!**

 **That being said, please enjoy the final chapter of A Rose Among Ashes and drop a review, if you please. :)**

* * *

 **Chapter 10 – Cinder**

"So, I see we have some new faces today."

Cinder none-too-subtly flinched as the blonde haired woman diverted the attention of ten other strangers in her direction. Beside her, she felt Ruby shuffle her chair closer, anchoring herself in Cinder's familiarity. The blonde woman smirked.

"Come on, you two; no need to be shy. I've told everyone else dozens of times, I want you to feel like you're among friends here," she explained, pushing her glasses further up her nose. "Now, what are your names?"

Meeting Ruby's hesitant look, Cinder willed herself to go first.

"Do we have to explain why we're here?" she asked beforehand.

The instructor, who had introduced herself previously as Glynda Goodwitch, shook her head.

"Anything you admit here I want you to do because _you_ wish it. There are no obligations in this group. That said, many of us seemed to have come to the conclusion that putting your situation out there is very beneficial. Not only will you perhaps find someone in a situation similar to yours, but it also helps me help you. In the end, what you reveal, and therefore what lessons you take from this room, is entirely up to you."

Nodding at the intake of information, Cinder looked down at her lap. Only when she saw the small hand reach to clasp her own did she find the strength to look back up, confidence overtaking fear.

"My name is Cinder," she began. "I was diagnosed with depression almost nine years ago after my sister died in a car wreck. Life's been…pretty bad since then. I always felt like I was in a hole I couldn't climb out of, and then more often than not, I felt as if I didn't even deserve to make it from that hole. My sister wouldn't, so why should I have that pleasure?"

She fell silent for a moment to take in everyone's expressions and was surprised to see each and every one of them paying attention. Many held faces of sympathy; no doubt feeling relieved their analogies were spot on with hers. Ms Goodwitch donned another small smile, encouraging Cinder further with a subtle nod of her head.

"It was only recently that I found the will to live again. For years the only solace I could find was through cutting, but that sanctum soon faded and just became routine; automatic. Another thing I did mechanically to get through another day. Then," she squeezed Ruby's hand, shooting her a fleeting smile, "my friend prompted me to try calling a hotline. I was hell-bent against it at first, thinking it a waste of time; pointless. Nobody cared what my situation was, and even if they said they did, they didn't mean it; were only saying so to keep me in this life one more day to keep their own conscience clear.

"But, I called and…the clouds just…parted. I didn't realize this at that moment in time, but now, thinking back, that was when my life started looking up. I…met someone who did the impossible— _was_ the impossible. They breathed life back into me, and…I learned to lean on them, learned that needing support wasn't a bad thing; it didn't make me weak. It made me strong; because now I had something worth fighting for."

A gleam in Goodwitch's eyes, she asked, "And just who is this person?"

Ruby immediately went red as Cinder looked her way, eleven other pairs of eyes following in rapid succession.

"My girlfriend, Ruby Rose."

Smiles split the faces of nearly everyone in the room in that moment, paired with a round of applause. Applause for Ruby; for being the knight in shining armor Cinder had so desperately needed. Applause for Cinder; for transcending the bounds of her depression after so long. Applause for them both; for being well on their way to the happy ending they both so rightfully deserved.

When the noise finally calmed, Goodwitch turned her attention to Ruby.

"And you, Miss Rose?" she asked. "What led you to Cinder?"

"I… I don't think I'll be able to upstage that story, just a fair warning," Ruby mumbled, a quiet rumble of laughter filling the auditorium then.

"We won't hold it against you," Goodwitch quipped teasingly.

Glancing to Cinder, the elder girl kept her grip tight, nodding for Ruby to continue.

Ruby told the tale of a young girl so attached to her mother that her death felt like it brought the end of her own life as well. The tale of a girl so blinded by the demons of her depression that not even cutting and self-harm was enough; that death had to be the only way out. She told the tale of a girl given a second chance; of a girl with a new outlook on life, now set to help steer others away from the same horrors that had nearly gripped her and pulled her down. The story of one call standing out among all others; of another girl in a situation so eerily similar to hers, she knew this was the reason death had failed to take her.

"I don't really believe in fate," Ruby spoke, "but if it is indeed what led me to Cinder, then so be it. There has to be a reason why I didn't die that night, even though I had wished for it so dearly at the time, and now I know that reason was because Cinder needed me. We needed each other."

"You're so corny, Red," Cinder couldn't help but quip, much to the group's amusement as Ruby all but huddled deeper into her sweatshirt, pulling her hand from Cinder's in favor of covering her bright pink cheeks.

Still, as the rest of the hour progressed and others spoke about their own torment, Ruby's hand slowly found its way back to Cinder's. When Goodwitch called the meeting over, Cinder was truly surprised by how much lighter her chest felt. Never would she have thought that telling her story to complete strangers would help her in any way; never would she have believed just hearing other's grief and trouble could lighten her outlook on everything. She knew Ruby had been telling her all along that she wasn't alone in this, but only now was Cinder realizing she really wasn't.

It wasn't something Ruby was saying just to make Cinder feel better about herself. It wasn't done just so Ruby could learn all of Cinder's darkest secrets.

It was done because it worked. It may have been gradual, but the relief was obvious now. For the first time since Ruby was dragged into her life, Cinder felt the darkness ebb away. Glancing back down at the girl walking blissfully beside her, the demons retreated even more, letting the light and love into her heart that had vacated the instant Neo was ripped from her.

As they came to a stop back in front of the café they had met at earlier, Cinder took both of Ruby's hands in hers. The younger girl looked up at her curiously, her eyes widening when all she was met with was Cinder's gentle smile.

"Can we make a small detour before I walk you home?" she asked.

"O-kay," Ruby answered nearly like a question. "Where did you want to go?"

"You pick," Cinder told her. "Surely you must have somewhere you retreated to after your mother like I did?"

"I-I mean… I usually just went to the pier…"

"Then that's where we're going."

Starting to pull Ruby off, the smaller girl piped up once more.

"C-Cinder?" she asked. "What is this about?"

Smirking over her shoulder, she winked.

"You'll see."

At Ruby's blush, Cinder merely chuckled and rolled her eyes, picking up the pace to their destination.

In no time, they had made it to the pier. The day was serene once again, the sunlight reflecting off the water beautifully, boats docking and passing by like something out of a movie.

"Was there any special spot in particular, or just the pier in general was enough?" Cinder asked next.

Looking somewhat shy, Ruby then took over the lead, pulling Cinder out to the very end of the longest dock. Together, hands clasped, they stood.

"Here," Ruby murmured. "I'd just stand here and look out into the sea. It seemed infinite, and sometimes I could just picture Heaven, or wherever my mother was, right over the horizon. I felt closer to her out here."

They stood in silence for a while, Cinder smiling at the scene of serenity in front of, beside, and around her. She took a minute to bask in it before turning to face Ruby. Ruby turned as well, looking up at Cinder quizzically.

"Will you tell me now why you wanted to come here?" she asked.

Her smile splitting her face, Cinder leaned down to kiss Ruby hard.

Feverishly.

Passionately.

Ruby inhaled sharply at the sudden action, but, as with their first kiss in Cinder's own safe haven days ago, quickly succumbed to the bliss. They parted only briefly for air before coming together once more, again and again; tongues intertwining and hands tangled in hair.

When the need to breathe became too much for the small reprieves thus far, Cinder rested her forehead against Ruby's, both of them panting, their stomach fluttering pleasantly and hearts beating erratically. Ruby gathered her bearings first.

"Wh-Wha… What was that f-?"

"I love you, Ruby."

Cinder swore she felt Ruby's heart stop in their close proximity, and only a gentle chuckle and kiss to stunned, open lips set it back in motion.

"Wh-W-What?"

"I. Love. You," Cinder repeated, slowly, clearly, seriously.

Ruby blinked, and the floodgates opened.

"You do?"

Cinder laughed, pulling the girl to her in a crushing hug. "How many times do you want to hear it, Red?"

Giggling, Ruby cuddled up until her head was nestled under Cinder's chin.

"I love you, too, Cinder."

Squeezing her eyes shut to keep her own tears at bay, Cinder pressed yet another kiss into silky locks of hair.

"Thank you so much for saving me," she whispered brokenly. "I don't think I'll ever be able to adequately express how grateful I am to have you in my life."

"You saved me too, Cinder," Ruby replied equally as quiet. "I meant it when I said I believe I didn't die that night because there was something else planned for me. Maybe… Maybe my mom and Neo knew we needed each other."

"I'd believe anything as long as it keeps you in my life, Ruby."

Laughing wetly, Ruby pulled away only long enough to kiss Cinder before burrowing back into her spot under her chin.

"You really did save my life, you know," Cinder muttered. "I… Up until the day I took you to the archery range…I kept a gun in my bedside table. Mercury had no idea; I had bought it off some guy in the street years ago. It taunted me for years, begging me to pull the trigger and just end it all. But…now it's rusting at the bottom the sea; chucked into this very same pier."

Ruby's grip around her tightened, a quiet cry breaking from a strangled throat.

No more words were said. No more kisses were exchanged. Nothing else needed to transpire in that instance. They knew the miracle that was the two of them alive in this minute, interlocked in a loving embrace, foreshadowing many more to come down the line. They knew the trials they had surpassed to get to this moment; of the monsters conquered, scars obtained, and victories won.

They knew the darkness still hadn't been vanquished completely; it still loomed overhead. Yet, in each other's arms, it didn't seem nearly as threatening; the trials not nearly as daunting.

And in that moment, in the ashes of their past, despite the adverse conditions, a rose sprouted and bloomed.

 **The End**


End file.
